Sweet Cuppin' Cakes

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The title card that spawned trillions of nightmares worldwide

Sweet Cuppin' Cakes is a syndicated children's adult television series currently airing on VH1, CNN, MTV, HBO, WTF, OMG, and Nickelodeon. It deals with material typically considered too controversial for any other program on the air, as well as some things that other people would rather just plain not think about.


  • Sherlock - A cow/helicopter/potato thing. Seems to be the main character.
  • The Worm - An alligator. Always chasing Sherlock.
  • Eh! Steve - A Mexican wrestling statue come to life and bent on doing nothing. Shouts various profanities at inappropriate moments.
  • Brullockin' Bubs the FCC-Employed Wheelchair - A wheelchair determined to catch Eh! Steve and put an end to his constant misuse of out-of-context profanity.

Original Run[edit]

The original program ran for 158 seasons from 1828-2007, each season starting on Christmas, each one less liked than the last. Originally it attempted to serve as a political newscast, but was diverted in its more controversial direction 5 minutes into the unaired pilot episode. Strangely, 154 of the show's seasons were simply the first 4 repeated endlessly.

Episode List[edit]

Season 1[edit]

  1. Political Spotlight: The Declaration of Independence (Unaired pilot)
  2. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (Christmas special; first episode aired)
  3. Alvin and the Lost Coconut Shrubs
  4. Out of My Snakes!!
  5. Out of My Snakes!! 2: These Ones are Teabags
  6. Flight of the Deep Fryers
  7. This Wasn't the Ham of Five Minutes go
  8. Twizzler Tom vs. the Nokzimartanza
  9. The Face

Season 2[edit]

  1. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (Christmas special; rerun)
  2. Doghouse Drummer Doesn't Like That Man
  3. "You'll Feel Bad when I'm Dead!"' - Two-part special
    1. Part 1: TV G Don't Rock It No More
    2. Part 2: Killer Mangoes
  4. Gas-Powered Toothbrush - Aired as 17 Limes from the Gallon in the UK
  5. Nobody Got a Laughin' Space
  6. :-)
  7. :-|
  8. :-(

Season 2.5[edit]

  1. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (Christmas special; rerun)
  2. What Doesn't Happen in Vegas Isn't Worth Televising
  3. Tire Tracks on the Rooftop (Banned in the UK)
  4. Tire Tracks on the Ground (Banned worldwide)
  5. Tire Tracks Up the [CENSORED] (Banned throughout the known universe)

Season III[edit]

  1. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (Christmas special; rerun)
  2. One of Those Spray Things
  3. Slappin' Glue with the Guys
  4. Slappin' Glue without the Guys
  5. Naked Lad Visits the Films
  6. The Wedding of Desert Bus - Two-part special
    1. Part 1: Grand Theft Blotto
    2. Part 2: Poopin' In Disgust
  7. Angry Max

Season 4[edit]

  1. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (Christmas special; rerun)
  2. Laser Lemon Revival
  3. Old Man Jerkins
  4. We Got Canceled (Final episode)

Unaired Episodes[edit]

It should also be noted that Sweet Cuppin' Cakes had made episodes to last at least 6 "full" seasons, possibly more. Although they weren't aired, Sweet Cuppin' Cakes released all 6 known seasons onto a one-disk DVD box set. Most of the episodes on the one-disk box set were said to cause depression, brain deformities, termite infestations, and the need to pour acid into the eyes of the "unclean"; and it wasn't the good acid. This was in large part due to the attempt to turn Old Man Jerkins of the second-to-last episode into a recurring character, which didn't work out in the least.

Some of the forbidden episodes are listed below, but the list has yet to be completed.

Season 5 (unaired)[edit]

  1. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (Christmas special; rerun)
  2. Old Man Jerkins is put in a Home
  3. Old Man Jerkins Escapes from the Home - The same footage can be found on an episode of Cops.
  4. That Pirouettes-ey Guy Once Said... - The rest of the title has been lost for reasons unknown, but we're pretty sure why.
  5. Going to the Mall with Coca-Cola Truck

Season 6 (unaired)[edit]

  1. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (Christmas special; rerun)
  2. Going to Old Man Jerkins' Funeral (two part episode)
    1. Grave Digging for Dummies
    2. Elephant Sematary; Jerkins Comes Home
  3. Blandish Veal, Food For Hire
  4. [No title given] - Consisted primarily of a needlework image of Eh! Steve pummeling a broken-down sports car, then cuts to black for several minutes; seemingly left unfinished.
  5. Eh! Steve and the Canadian Convict Crisis

Season 7 (unaired)[edit]

  1. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (Christmas special; rerun)
  2. Boggling Google
  3. Keyboard Strong Bad's Musical Spin Off - Has now been proven to cause bleeding from the ears.
  4. Jumping Wolves With Evil-Ken-Evil
  5. A Grape in the Moon - Banned due to racism
  6. Flying Flounder Sticks

Season 八 (unaired)[edit]

  1. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (Christmas special; rerun)
  2. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (extended version) (Christmas special; rerun)
  3. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (extended version; director's cut) (Christmas special; rerun)
  4. Letom Llet-On eht dna Eeffoc Sutcac - Basically, Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel shown in negative and reversed.
  5. We're Out of Ideas (two part episode)
    1. Landing on Your Ass - Hundreds injured from attempting stunts in this episode.
    2. Landing on Your Face - Thought to be the leading cause of unnatural mental retardation.
  6. Commie Capital of Soviet Ubenschork - Episode banned for fear of restarting the Cold War.

Holiday Specials[edit]

  1. Cactus Coffee and the No-Tell Motel (Christmas special)
  2. The Kentucky Fried Derby (Independence Day special)
  3. The Haunted Mansion Splatterhouse Spooktacular Puketaclular (Halloween special)
  4. Los Sink-Os de Mayonnaisios (Cinco de Mayo special) - Two-part special
    1. Part 1: One Bag of M&Ms
    2. Part 2: Waiting in the Car
  5. Losing Lard and Laudries (Easter special)


Sweet Cuppin' Cakes was canceled when it was discovered that the characters were technically naked, prompting the host networks to take it off the air until 3 minutes later when it went into reruns. It currently runs in syndication at 13:00 PM on numerous nondescript networks.

Sweat Cruppin' Snakes[edit]

Sweat Cruppin' Snakes was an attempt to revive the show as an "adult" series. Unfortunately it failed halfway through the pilot episode because its subject matter primarily consisted of ceramic miniatures of senior citizens throwing raising at each other. It was also heavily criticized for the episode title of The Chicken Chowder Channel Steals the Bike, which was previously used by numerous other television programs for less problematic purposes.

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