TCP ports

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about TCP ports.

TCP ports and their uses. TCP ports are part of the 'Transmission Control Protocol'. They are used mainly to specify services on a certain host. Any computer with an internet connection has access to use these protocols, except your mom's. It is important to know the port numbers so when you are being hacked you can at least know how they are doing it.

List of commonly used ports[edit]

Port Description
–1 MOP - Minus One Protocol
0 OWP - Oscar Wilde Protocol
1 For n00bs
20 BTP - Blame Transfer Protocol
21 PTP - Porn Transfer Protocol
22 SSH - Super Secure sHit
23 PSP - Password Sharing Protcol
25 SSP - Spam Sharing Protocol
79 FUP - Fuck You Protocol (give people the middle finger "fuck off!")
80 HPTP - Hyper Porn Transfer Protocol
110 Read spam and porn
119 STP - Sex Transfer Protocol
443 SSL - Safe Sex Layer
514 Microsoft Windows front door.
666 Microsoft private
911 POW - Porn On Webcams
1337 Haxor protocol
1984 Only used by fans of Big Brother (who left the house?)
6667 AIP - ASL Interchange Protocol
8080 TIP - Troll Interchange Protocol
9000 PMS - For women who love too much
10005 SPP - South Park protocol. Its wicked!
8675309 BBP - It's what we actually surf the internets with and causes that untimely humming noise.