TK Maxx

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TK Maxx
Customer Information
Status: 1000000 stores worldwide (1882)
Deaths: 537 of which 50% suicide
HQ located: Newcastle upon Tyne and French Riviera

TK Maxx is one of the most powerful drug dealers in the world today, second to only Oxfam. TK Maxx has thousands if not billions of drug dealing stores around the world most notoriously the store located in the north east of England and possibly Pakistan. Nobody is sure of the date of when TK Maxx was founded, but a recently found documentation links them with the Columbian Cartel around the time Jesus was born, apparently. TK Maxx hires its staff by promising them a fun working environment, however men but mostly young girls are kidnapped by the leading heads of TK Maxx all around the world. Being promised a better life is usually enough to lead anyone from the low down waste disposal jobs available in Fawdon.

The evil dictator in charge of TK Maxx is Ariel Sharon. He’s been working with the Columbian Cartel for up fiiiiiiiiive years. It is widely believed that Ariel Sharon is a women inside a mans body, as of the 1st of October 2005 all ties were broken with the Columbian Cartel as the Klingons were offering an out of this world type of class 276.78 drug and went into hiding as a women???


Facts about TK Maxx[edit]

  • TK Maxx is communist.
  • Ariel Sharon is a well known man whore in his local neighborhood.
  • Singer Shaggy released the song “oh Carolina” about a slave girl he admired.
  • TK Maxx does not like black people.
  • TK Maxx uses business partners such as Royal Bank of Scotland and Iceland the supermarket to for money laundry
  • TK Maxx claims that they are favored by Chris De IceBerg, an allegation Chris De Iceberg vehemently denies.
  • The President of Latvia does his entire drug dealing with TK Maxx, he states there’s nowhere better where I can get drugs 60% cheaper then other leading drug dealers.

And the man that owns TK Maxx sucks the life out of children!