Talk:Microsoft

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Articles for deletion This article was nominated for deletion on December 20, 2007. The result of the discussion was Keep.

"cars"[edit]

Just thought I'd let you know, that "cars" thing is not an INGENIOUS feat of someone's SUPER intelligence, it's a joke email thats been going round. I've seen it before, I got this email.


this article seems too long[edit]

a part of it is really boring,too much words and not enough fun.

it seems someone else noticed the history section before me.

had an (partial) idea.

Prediction

It is a little known fact that all versions of "Windows" come with pre-set and unchangeable "Hidden Settings"
Nostradamus predicted that windows will appear.Here is the prediction:

“I see bugs,many bugs,A LOT OF BUGS,CAN'T LOOK ANY MORE!!!”

This was the last prediction of Nostradamus.After seeing all the bugs in windows he had 40 simultaneously heart attacks.
The lovely landscape of Redmond
Microsoft unveils Windows Vista to the world.

The start

In the year 1500 Bill Gates,former member of the satanist club "Happiness in flames",constructed the Microsoft headquarters next to satan's house in hell.There he started to make the first OS:Windows Bug.This version was produced using the following recipe:

  • 300 bugs
  • glass from trash
  • BSoD
  • Ctrl+Alt+Del
  • Exceptionally fatal errors.

The battle of the browsers(WWI)

Netscape was the virus provider(browser) used at that time.
Bill thought that Internet Explorer should be pwn1ng Netscape.
Minisoft said that netscape doesn't provide the best.
They said that you can really explore something with IE.
Of course,maybe netscape didn't provide all the bugs in the world,we will never know.
Netscape made the browser free,but they were bankrupted and spoiled by ducks.

new technologies

first succes

After a bit of researching for porn and drinking vodka with cocaine they had some ideas:
  • Smash the computer technology
Using the newest bugs and errors,windows vista can now anger anyone.Even a peaceful buddhist.
A program tried to find all errors in vista.After finding the first 5000,a error occurred.

<No comment>

Some strange errors:
Error:Windows Explorer can harm your computer.
Error:Operation completed successfully.

</No comment>

  • Errors with built-in bugs

Some errors can't be generated because of bugs in the annoying core function in windows,these problems will be solved in this millennium,officials say.

  • RSoD

RSoD

RSoD is the ultimate punish for starting Windows Vista.It is more likely to appear if you use Windows XP.This is because the kernel of windows vista is made to become cataclismically bugged in combination with a more stable windows.

He managed to keep the penguins away,until now...

Microsoft = Borg?[edit]

Everyone jokes about Microsoft being like the Borg out of Star Trek, but I think the comparison isn't valid.

After all, the Borg main computer never crashed.

--Zonk69 13:56, 3 June 2007 (UTC)


test

hmmm[edit]

can someone link off Blue-screens please ... and create a link to Blue Screen Of Death? (very funny page) ... only i am not sure i know how to link yet

   Get the link to said page, then steal the link code from any one of the numerous links in this article.--65.147.25.190 06:36, 11 Sep 2005 (UTC)

I added a link to MicroBorg

I added a link to the Microsoft Sidewinder, Hope you like it -SU182

The bit about Microsoft being founded by Bill Gates and Steve Jobs in the early 1800s isnt funny. Read the Uncyclopedia article about how to make a funny page to see why!! Can someone make this bit more funny, without resorting to ridiculous dates??!!

Mozilla firefox on linux[edit]

I'm viewing this with firefox on linux, do I get a prize or something? :) --99.224.57.193 17:03, 5 January 2008 (UTC)

Bill Gates is glaring at you right now. http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/9/93/Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 17:27, 5 January 2008 (UTC)

DNA Testing.[edit]

We all know that the application process has written and visual basic tests. But they also do DNA testing to make sure they don't hire apples or penguins. I added that in the application process.

ok the history of microsoft section really sucks its not even funny just a bunch of random shit. I'm pretty sure with the wit i find elsewhere on the internet this article could actually not suck.

Microsoft vs. General Motors[edit]

Thought this would be good to add to the article: Microsoft vs. General Motors

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

If you need more stuff for this article, contact me (my user name on wikipedia is lf2planet [dont have account here yet]).--64.252.42.133 07:48, 4 July 2008 (UTC)

Vacuum cleaner quote?[edit]

The quote "The only time Microsoft makes a product that does not suck is when it makes a vacuum cleaner." is no longer there. Why? Kushalt 13:57, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

Because it's factual. You need to make it less factual! That quote belongs on ED, not here. -24.98.65.137 08:26, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

Microsoft or Windows[edit]

The article doesn't seem to focus on Microsoft. It is mostly about Windows and Windows errors. We've already got article(s) about Windows. I think the article should be split. We need an article about Microsoft and another about Windows in general, and not just the specific versions. Then the articles can be expanded with more focus. What does everyone else think? Aizmov 08:24, 17 February 2009 (UTC)