Talk:New Zealand

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Nice work crunchy. I like the rewrite. --Gadgeophile 23:50, 28 Mar 2005 (EST)

Thanks, though I'm sure many of the jokes must be obscure to non-kiwis. I'm particularly proud of the phrase "lost their power of flightlessness" - it always makes me giggle when I look at the page. --CrunchyCapsicum 01:03, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)

I love the picture. "Boldness indicates relative international importance". Right! -- 01:51, 21 February 2006 (UTC)
And somebody got rid of it! It was only the Boldness of Spitvalve that returned it to its true glory! SpitValve 11:05, 13 August 2006 (UTC)

Teh Russian am spelt correctly in teh Cyrillic - am this valid? 21:51, 6 April 2006 (UTC)

"Prunciple ixports unclude unferiority complixes" Love that line!!! I don't know about the spelling eh, to me it just makes it hard to read... Aaadddaaammm 09:48, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Much Work Needed[edit]

This page has two many different bits with different jokes, most of which aren't all that funny. It needs one overarching joke as well. And not sheep-shagging. Any suggestions? (how about inferiority complexes? or Middle Earth? or the Kiwi accent & slang?) SpitValve 21:06, 19 August 2006 (UTC)

I'm liking the sound of inferiority complex - with a smattering of slang all through. That'd be awesome as. I'd be happy to help out but I'm not very good at this stuff. Aaadddaaammm 09:23, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

I'd not put in inferiority complex, but Middle Earth and immigration to The West Island (which could be named so much better)

Spozguy 16:51 10th Sept 2006 (AEST)

America isn't the only country, folks. --Thematrixeatsyou 08:56, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Hey? Aaadddaaammm 00:32, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

The Down-under surprise?[edit]

Que? The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

For gods sake people[edit]

Stop writing stupid shit. If you aren't even going to ATTEMPT to be funny, then don't bother.

C'mon, you have it in you to be witty instead of just immature and thick.The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

I think this guy has a very good point, I have written several articles that were much better than this, but were deemed not good enough and deleted. This article is absolute crap, not funny and needs a bit of shit and stink added to it Alan Liefting 06:01, 13 January 2008 (UTC)

This is a stupid article, why has this not been deleted. Aaaaalllllllllaaaaannnnnnn Liefting 02:16, 14 January 2008 (UTC)

Change Suggestions Please[edit]

I suggest toning down the sheep stuff, and the rugby stuff, there are alot of other kiwi jokes and humour. Oh and the politics part seems like an angry rant rather than anything funny. You only need to watch an episode of facelift to get some good ideas. The page is crammed full of bullshit - it needs to be simple, you dont have to go into major detail with most of the crap on there.

And wheres Jake the muss? havent seen him mentioned once - hes our chuck norris!!

--KR93 19:47, 22 January 2009 (UTC)


Australians are so ignorant thinking that we only use the vowel 'u'. At least we haven't replaced 'i' with an 'eeeee' as in theeeeeeeees (this) and replaced 'a' with 'aee' as in aeenswer (answer) The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

- Sorry, you're right. Not only do you turn "fish" into "fush" or "fsh", you also turn "yes" into "yis", "tackle" into "teckle" and "pool" into "pull" - the same "oo" sound as in "book". We Australians are so sorry that we forget to mention the other ways in which your accent is screwed up. I am sincerely sorry. P.S. I know what I'm talking about - I've lived in "New Zulend" for 1/5th of my life. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Woodsies (talk • contribs)

99% percent of Australians need a nose job to stop sounding so naaaaeeeeeesil, but of course they probably got the snips when they were younger. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)


Its too fucking factual, make up some bullshit alread Ha ha Much! The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)


Some Add David Tua In there somewhere, (or if you already did, didn't see it) The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

This idea is "O" for "orsum" (*awesome* in case you don't get the joke) The preceding unsigned comment was added by Woodsies (talk • contribs)

Add this[edit]

add to the phrases section: Pewt it dewn baaay The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)


Yeez, everyone knows the ferry is called the "Hinterislander". Some who cares enough to have editing rights change this, paleese. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

Famous (lol) NZers[edit]

1. Rhys Darby: funny guy that everyone (inc me) thought was Australian. 2. The host of The Amazing Race. 3. That Anna chick from X-men. 4. ...?

writers block

The preceding unsigned comment was added by Mememex3 (talk • contribs)

Yeah, well...[edit]

What's the bet that all of the writers of the page are either Aussies or Brits? I'm from NZ, and I think that most of the jokes are only ones that Australians, Brits or Kiwis get, because Americans wouldn't say Orkland, there's no R in the real word. Get the hint, half of it isn't funny because no one gives a shit that the Lord of the Rings movies were made and filmed here, because Avatar (James Cameron's one) was too, and no one knows or cares either. The page about Shortland Street isn't funny either. I bet that one was written by the Irish, because they're they only other country that's even heard of it. Australians are the only ones who know that we have heaps of sheep, so that's not funny at all. They wouldn't call themselves "arseholes", and they wouldn't spell it with an R, so THAT is definitely British. My point is that this page is only by people who want to make NZ look bad, mainly Aussies. Try to be funny, and not just stupid. --Wouldawoodchuckchuck 06:26, July 16, 2010 (UTC)

Good point. It's a shame that you're a talentless moron who can't write to save your life, because otherwise you'd be able to write a good satirical article relating to NZ. Instead you decide to come to the talk page, where only very few people would come, and start whining about it. By the way, this IS a wiki, you ARE allowed to rewrite articles. PuppyOnTheRadio sig.gif                                                  Friday, 07:22, Jul 16 2010 UTC

The guy who replied to this complaint is an Australian, because only angry, bored people call talentless morons. I know you can rewrite things in wikis, fuckface. The people who write craply, like you, are losers. PuppyOnTheRadio needs to learn to take criticism, because if he doesn't he's gonna get beaten up by his meth dealer. What the fuck is this supposed to mean: "We're like Australians, but with retarded accents!!!" If it wasn't written by an Australian whose life wasn't as boring as shit, it wouldn't have three exclamation marks.

Too bad you're a talentless moron, who can't criticise for shit, because if you had a brain that actually WAS bigger than a speck, then you'd know that it's only Americans that hardly know about us, that we're nothing like Australians, and that "Be funny, and not just stupid." meant that you don't try to make blunt, generic "judgements" about other people when you want to look better, or smarter. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Forseescalamities815 (talk • contribs)

Your remark was even less clever and showing less talent than the one before. First, create a userpage. Then, start writing a new article on the subject of New Zealand from scratch in your own userspace. Oh, and if you think you are so great at criticizing, try the piranha moat known as Pee Review. Let's just see how good YOUR skills at criticizing really are. POTR's skills are actually quite good in that area. Better yet, once you've written your article, get it peer reviewed there. I am so NOT impressed with your ability to curse and moreover, calling people losers will get you labeled a dickhead. You might want to read the Beginner's Guide again, especially Rule#2. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:49, August 8, 2010 (UTC)