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Nazi anti-Polack propaganda poster during WWII. "Remember who we consider to be our enemies. "The Gays, Gypsys, Commies, and the POLACK." "And of course, the JEW." 05:36, June 22, 2011 (UTC)

THis stuff is fucking shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

So is life sometimes. So????????????????????22 -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 01:29, September 8, 2010 (UTC)

I think the whole beginning should be removed. It's not even funny, "polish bitch took my job". You can laugh at us because of our alcoholism or history but don't be retard. And BTW unlock article.

Z0mg, we lost a plane! -Vladmir Putin, on the Polish government.

Poles...they sure know how to stick together! HUJ WAM W DUPE AMERYKAŃSKIE PSY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let us know when this page is unlocked[edit]

I`ve lived with Polish people for many years, and when the pope died, it was a hillarious moment in my south london squat. I really enjoy taking the Poles down a peg or 2.Miramira 10:49, 4 February 2007 (UTC)

Random guy wrighting first comment: i love this shit man there is a polish kid at my school and i showed him and he laughed, the joke about germany pwning poland is classic good job alround and any polish people that get up tight about it just look at somthing else because you cant change people sense of humour.

American is so very stupid,you are stupid ! hhahha amerykanie debile zal mi was ameykanskie dzieci downa,Polacy laczmy sie

                 Wera :P
Czysta głupota. DZIEWCZYNO, OGARNIJ SIĘ! Down to choroba, ni obelga. I'm just trying to be political correct and I'm sorry for my bad English – I'm one of these stupid Polish people! 19:08, June 18, 2010 (UTC)


This is enough. I suggest unlocking this article. Whole month and four contributions - well, I choose free contributions and vandals - sometime I can find pearl here in that pile of vandal shit.

If vave of vandals appear, well. I will fight, because I come back. :D --MaDeR 08:18, 18 July 2006 (UTC)

Yeeep. No one listen to me. Life lost meaning... *cries* --MaDeR 06:58, 23 August 2006 (UTC)
The admins forg - *is shot* Well, amdins never pay attention to request for articles to be unprotected. Look at DYK and AAAAAAAAA! --User:Nintendorulez/sig2 21:24, 5 December 2006 (UTC)


There was some comments about grammar & spelling. Grammar/spelling mistakes in english are not on purpose and will be nice if someone fix it. (I think thatr I commit some mistakes here as well, but ah well) But don't dare touch anything that resembles words in polish language...! Yes, I know that you must register. --MaDeR 06:58, 23 August 2006 (UTC)

General fucking notes for everyone before edit, for fuck's sake![edit]

Here are rules, if you thinks that one or more rules are bad, please discuss it here. With identation and under proper bullet. --MaDeR 07:14, 13 June 2006 (UTC)

  • Please remember that is ENGLISH site. All Poles should make entries here and in other places of uncyclopedia in english. Polish-only texts will be mercilessly deleted. Other languages too. I'm sooo evil, boy!
  • "Peoples of Poland" will be periodically cleaned, because it is NOT a phone book.
  • Many people have strange habit to replace Rydzyk with Michnik and Radio Maryja with Gazeta Wyborcza (or other similiar replaces). Maybe it will be more convincing when mentioned entities get their own articles. And do more clever introduction of these into article, please.
  • "Wudzia" is deliberately written this way (for reference, proper writing is "wódzia", and in Polish alphabet letters "u" and "ó" in speaking are virtually indistinguishable). Do not correct, please.
  • National Greetings and Simple Examples are saturated; new entries will be allowed only if they are better than existing entries (not likely). If so, then will be replaced.
  • People Who Have Not Forgotten Poland are rather exclusive club and I do not see any changes here soon.


Hmm...Apparently I offended someone. Damien, I apologize for my indiscretion. --User:SimulacrumCaputosis/sig201:02, 3 May 2006 (UTC)

I am from Poland and I don't find this article very amusing, funny or interesting;// I hope you realise that this is just stupid!!??

The War of Poland[edit]

His Majesty is hereby lodging a formal complaint about the content of this article. He believes that the humor currently included is short and juvenile, and requests that someone try to enhance it to a more civilized level. Be aware that His Majesty is not familiar with the term "surrender," therefor will not forgoeete his statements here. His Majesty also realizes that this article has been edited by many, and that its content in not mere "random derrogatory shit," but instead a compilation from the collaboration of many minds who have experimented with the jokes, both to success and failure. His Majesty has noted that this is a highly vandalized page, and shall treat it with all respect due a page of such status.

Unfortunately, this is no mere stub that can be rebuilt ground-up. It is a highly successful article (featured, none the less). His Majesty realizes that should he make any drastic changes, it would dishonor himself and the article, as well as endanger the both. Therefore, by Royal Decree of His Majesty Simulacrum Caputosis the Great, the only solution (and thus His Majesty's course of action) is the declaration of war against the article Poland. His Majesty's army of Flame-Warriors Summoned from the Depths of Hell shall march across the soils of the Poland category, strengthening the Great State of our leader.

--His Royal Majesty, Simulacrum Caputosis the Great 03:54, 17 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Well well, how nice. It will be interesting. But I don't know of any ACA party in Poland. For Wałęsa, BBWR will do nicely. ;) --MaDeR 11:10, 17 Jan 2006 (UTC)
maybe I should get to it some, huh? --Simulacrum Caputosis 16:57, 24 February 2006 (UTC)

News for the Poles all up in this hizzouse[edit]

Yossarian has started up a Polish Uncyclopedia and is currently seeking people to help out by creating articles in Polish. Maybe instead of vandalizing this page you might want to pay that Uncyclopedia a visit and vandalize their Poland article.
Thanks much, Love Template:Proper name 15:29, 16 Sep 2005 (UTC)

Better yet, make fun of Americans there, in Polish, then we can come over and vandalize. --User:Splaka/sig 19:17, 16 Sep 2005 (UTC)
USA (Polish) - Now I just need to figure out how to tell people to shot their fuck up in Polish :p Template:Proper name 19:30, 16 Sep 2005 (UTC)
"Strzel sobie kurwa górę"? ;) Modn 23:24, 17 Sep 2005 (UTC)
Nyah, Polish version is pathetic rather than funny. Halibutt 10:56, 18 Sep 2005 (UTC)
Literal translation, not meant to be funny. Modn 11:01, 18 Sep 2005 (UTC)
Aside of joking, this will be Zamknij się, do kurwy nędzy. -- MaDeR

Few Comments[edit]

I know that' all about making it funny but could you stick to the facts. "Chrobry" (I would say that your Williams without larger inestine sound more wierd) won with "Elmo-Hitler" just search about Bitwa pod Grunwaldem (Battle under Grunwald). You should also said somethink about "Bimber" which is self-made Vodka and it's theoriticly banned. Also the currents is Litres of Wudzia but the currency is measured by promiles.

Random praises[edit]


Im from Poland and I almost fell from my chair while I was reading this..., btw Im not into "Shoting my fuck up" or whatever.. :P

lol, this site rules. high school uniforms are great. why they aren't in my school???

What's the fuss all about?[edit]

Greetings, anglo-saxon pigs. I am quite amazed by the way you described my country - it is so accurate, so vivid, so true... ;) I was laughing my head off, a really good definition, no doubt about it.

Hmm, I think that our national trait is a lack of humour when somebody mocks our national traits. ;) I suppose we are sick of "polish jokes", but... The polish jokes were created when Americans met our immigrants - people who were uneducated, who originated from rural regions, who couldn't communicate in English, who simply act like idiots on the american soil. We should be angry on them.

It's not so bad nowadays, at least in the USA where we now mistake Polish immigrants for Russians because, quite frankly, your language sounds like Russian to us! :-D (Okay, maybe not to YOU...) So, now Americans tend to think Russians are drunken slobs who fight with knives, and we make jokes about the French instead. ;-) BGManofID 18:05, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Poles really have sense of humor, but...[edit]

At first - sorry for my english language. I hope you will understand something. Poland in comunnist times was known as the funniest place in Warsaw pact. Poles were fighting with surrealistic communist reality by humor. After 1989 - at last they re(fuck, my english is really bad) their freedom after all, and they are very close to their symbols now. Also, Poles have a lot complexes (did I write it right ?), especially to the other, west nations. By many years - when polish nation was fighting for thier rights, often heroic, they were also known on the world as a cheap, drunken and dirty Poles. There are many other reasons. Communist propaganda was using it. So - they are many people from Poland, that don't have sense of humor about their nationality now. Did you understabd something ? I don't :/

Great jobs you guys. Love this article. Greetings from Warsaw!


I love you guys, i'm from Poland and I'm in permanent ROTFLing state;) Great idea, perfect made, keep working on it!

I LOVE IT!!![edit]

Hi, I'm from Poland and i love this article. National anthem and the currency is the greatest :-D btw. the original title of "Hej sokoly" is "Ukraina" (Ukraine) and polish greatest epopee "Pan Tadeusz" starts with words "Litwo, ojczyzno moja..." (Lithuania, my motherland...). Funny, isn't it :) (for non-Polish people) Ukraine and Lithuania were our (Polish) provinces until WWII...


I'm from Poland and find this page not only amusing but very useful, especially the greetings section. All the guys who keep buging me how to say this or that in Polish are going to receive it :). -- Yaar


i am pole i just cant stop laughing after seeing this - good job - keep it up =) for my polish friends ( those without sense of humour ) i say - dont like this page ? so close it noone forces you to watch this if u dont like it


The best joke about my country that I've ever read XDDDD But... I hope so, that you'll write about the best polish singer - Michał Wiśniewski (and his great ex-wife Mandaryna. They're great! xDDD And.. our national anthem can be 'The duck song'? Kaczuszki. But i think that Hej sokoły is better.


OMG this site R0x!!! I'm Polish and I am amazed how accurate this info is :). I will definitely help you in creating more pages about Poland and such great people like Teddy-Satan-Rydzyk, andrew Lepper and the newest fuckup - Lech 'Duck' Kaczynski :).

Can't believe[edit]

I'm from Poland, too, and I also thint this site is quite funny. I wuldn't even think that there's a lot of people who would criticise it... But now, I think that it's true and it's another characteristic feature of Polish nation: lack of humour and complaining about everything. PS. National greetings rule indeed :)

I loved this article![edit]

I have a Polish friend, and we had a good laugh over this. I don't get why people get all stuffed up about stuff they read on this site. Its supposed to be a bit of fun where you can post an article that is the complete opposite of one that would be posted normally.

I swear, whenever I am bored and have nothing to do Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia are great to both learn something and have a good laugh :P

And I can spell, too![edit]

Wow, I really liked this article. At first I was offended, but after removing the stick that was up my ass, I immediately embraced it's derisive attitude towards Poland. I wanted to defend Poland at some points, but then I realized that there's a grain of truth in a lot of it. --Littlemaggie01 04:39, 8 December 2007 (UTC)

Random criticism[edit]

Some mother fuckers want show my country like village :[

I think neither the Poles nor Romanians realize that this is a HUMOR site. Or maybe it's a humor deficit that's been steadily getting worse in Eastern Europe since the fall of Soviet Russia and the adoption of the Euro. Reference:Talk:Latvia--blargh 16:05, 11 Aug 2005 (UTC)
I'am very curious citizens of which country have a such sofisticated sens of humore?
Most of the original humour content was actually based out of Poland (or somewhere in Eastern Europe) I assume based on the fact that the English had some spelling and grammar issues typical of non-native English speakers. A while ago I made a large update where I took that original wording, cleaned up the language and fleshed the ideas a little more. I'm from Canada, BTW --Template:Proper name 03:55, 21 Aug 2005 (UTC)

you son of a bitches[edit]

When someone alse talk bad about US or some other fucking English language country it means war and here? man people that make phis page ar deadly dum and they probobly dont evan know where poland exacly is. so if you dont know what are you talking about than shot your fuck up

Seeing as how you are obviously mentally deficient, Ill just repeat what this website is about. Its about humor, and being able to poke fun at yourself. If you cant understand that this entire website is built on lies and bullshit, then you shouldnt even be on the internet. --Nytrospawn 20:51, 22 Aug 2005 (UTC)
I've never "shot my fuck up". I imagine it would be extremely messy, not to mention illegal. -- Codeine 20:59, 22 Aug 2005 (UTC)
Actually, apparently the penis is a popular place to inject heroin, soft tissue that circulates the blood well. ("shot up" your "fuck", too literal?) Splaka 21:07, 22 Aug 2005 (UTC)
Jesus! I mean, maybe it's just me, but if I was sticking dirty syringes of smack into my cock, I might just think about where my life was going. -- Codeine 21:14, 22 Aug 2005 (UTC)
Maybe uncyclopedia has warped my mind, but I see a new article in the works here. -- Template:Proper name 22:03, 24 Aug 2005 (UTC)
Hmm, if not a full page for Shot your fuck up how about a page dedicated to the semi-coherent semi-english insults Undictionary users have received over the years, along with a paragraph definition and link to their occurance in the history (where possible)? Is there anything like that now? teehee Splaka 22:10, 24 Aug 2005 (UTC)
Dunno if that exists already, but 'twould be magnificent. NorphTehDwarf 15:13, 6 August 2006 (UTC)

It's not funny[edit]

I love my country and this page is obviously making me angry... what kind of man do you have to be to make such stupid jokes about polish people. What were you thinking about at the moment of creating this internet site???

Man, are you ever in the wrong place. Anyone know the Polish for "Satire"? -- Codeine 23:44, 31 Aug 2005 (UTC)
This site is satyra, my Polish friend. It is a parodiowanie. If you look around on it, there is some fine USA-bashing and mockery here. We also mock Canada, Britain, and your mom. So just, uh, zamknij się na czczo, ukochany! Or something. (God I love online dictionaries. You never really know what the hell you're saying to somebody.) ~~OEJ
Especially for you full translation of above sentence: Ta strona to jedna wielka parodia i satyra, mój Polski przyjacielu. Jeśli się rozejrzysz, znajdziesz wyśmiane USA, Kanada, Anglię i twoją mamusię. Tak więc, eee, shut up, my darling. Lub coś takiego. (Boże, uwielbiam słowniki internetowe. Nigdy nie wiesz tak naprawdę, co do cholery mówisz do kogoś.) .
Ha ha, are you sure, that you are polish and not a Muslim or something? 15:53, 26 February 2006 (UTC)

-I also love my country, which does not mean I can't find a satire about Poland and Poles funny. I've laughed my socks off when I was reading the article about Poland in Nonsensopedia (our Uncyclopedia). For it was funny, not offensive like the thing I've just read here. I also want to add that in our version of nonsensopedia there is an article about USA... which contains no offensive language or statements. Well, maybe someone would not like the "map from american school" (the thing which figures here as polish map).

Maybe I'm too touchy, but I don't like commented article. And I don't like people who like it, for they remind me of some guys I know who are polish and hate Poland. And yes, there are lots of people like that, I even think that they wrote a big part of this article.

Yes, I'm hopelessly patriotic, be happy I didn't write about our history and all the people who died protecting (blah blah blah). For it's not history that's really important. And when I see what some "Poles" wrote in this discussion I'm starting to think that this article is just what we deserve.-

And you must be soooooooooo proud of yourself[edit]

This article maybe funny and all, but being all that peachy and heartworming it's also unfair. Hey, I've got an idea, let's write an article about the author of this one. Hmmm what to write? Of course indisputable facts and other adequate bull dung ;P So next time when you're gonna laugh about places and nations, dear to those nations thaink for a moment about your pitiful sense of humor.

I think you should shot your fuck up. I hear its quite fun --Nytrospawn 20:26, 24 Oct 2005 (UTC)

You Assholes![edit]

Hey, I realize & respect the fact that this is a humor site and all, & that you're trying to present an SPV (Satirical Point of View, in case you're a n00b) but I find this article DREADFULLY unfunny & offensive. I am an American of strong Polish ancestry, & I feel a strong sense of Polish Pride. I think whoever wrote this is a major-league racist asshole & deserves to be ass-raped & subsequently eaten alive by a Grue and/or Hannibal Lector. Not only that, but it's been mysteriously locked up, meaning we're no longer able to edit it (why?). Hey, you wouldn't encourage people to write articles that were racist towards Muslims, so why should you encourage people to do it towards Poles (that's a term for Polish people, btw)? That ain't funny, it's stupid. Hey, after all, how would you like it if someone re-wrote the article on Britain/England/the U.K./whatever they're callin' it nowadays so it was racist towards British people (I must also mention that I'm part English & proud of that as well, which keepeth me from rewritin' the bleedin' article, guvnor). If you think most everyone's forgotten about Poland, then you must've been hit on the head at a young age. Well, to be fair, I actually do find a bunch of Polish jokes funny, but since this article ain't funny, it cannot be considered to contain Polish jokes. Oh, and your desecration of the Polish Eagle emblem is absolutely putrid. You oughta burn in hell for that. Furthermore, the Polish military is a lot more elite than you think it is. Furthermore on that point, the Polish & Canadian militaries (Oh yeah, & the Canadian Army is elite as well) have formed a military coalition under UN jurisdiction called the Polish-Canadian Coalition (la Coalition Polonaise-Canadienne in French or, I think it's Polski-Kanady Koalicja in Polish). When they get word of this article they, with their combined power, will crush your SCRAWNY FREAKIN' ASS. So, I think you oughta re-open this article for editing, or at least re-write it, before I kick your as all the way to Warsaw (not Wall Sall, Duckcity, or whatever, useless excuse for a name you're calling it), jive turkey! Yeah, it's the P-L-S, it's the Polish Pride! 101? Fuck that, it's 501!

P.S., the "National Greetings" are actually Polish swear words.

Sgt. Havoc 21:45, 17 July 2006 (UTC)

Can you guess what I'm going to tell you to do? -- User:Codeine/sig 10:44, 18 July 2006 (UTC)
(Retort): No way I'm doing THAT, you slime-sucking fishwad!
Polish Pride, eh? I have pride from being a human being, because humanity have potential to greater achievments than before (but it is discussion for completely different site). Not from fact of being ciziten of some fucked nation, where everyone run away... YOU included. You talk about Polish Pride, hipocrite, while staying away from your beloved land. And yes, National Greetings are Polish swear words. This is funny. --MaDeR 08:33, 18 July 2006 (UTC)
(Retort): Hey, there's hardly anything wrong with being pround of your ancestral country! Besides, everyone has the right to believe what they want to believe! That's what humanity is really about. Not from dissing other people's ideas of pride! And besides, Poland ain't as fucked as you think it is! And, the irony of it is, you don't need to be in your mother land to appreciate it! Of course, you'd actually know this if you got out there & searched around instead of trying to come up with your very own WORTHLESS version of this like the self-righteous ASSHOLE you actually ARE! Ah, the delicious irony of it all...
P.S., To be fair, though, the National Greetings being swear words are pretty funny though. Maybe I'll find someone else I hate who don't know jack about Poland & tell them to him/her. However, you ain't funny, dupek.
No, it is asshole. Here is english language site, see? And to point... I lived in Poland whole life and I think that I better know about fuckiness of Poland than you. And I wonder what you see wrong with, for example, Duckcity? This is good joke on many levels: Stalingrad, surname of Warsaw ex-president, actual Polish president and so on. Other example: parody of Polish Emblem is quite good. We have no sacred cows here. Suprised? And, finally, I don't see any rascism against Poles (since when Poles are race BTW?).
In short: Laughing? Yep. Making fun? Yes. Stereotypes? YES. Satire and parody? Hell yes. And if you are offended, well, don't cry. --MaDeR 16:37, 18 July 2006 (UTC)
(Retort) O.K., now that I've thought it over, the parody of the Polish Eagle emblem is kind of funny. Well, if it was used in Nonsensopedia, it must be pretty funny. It seems like a real Polish joke, almost. Sorry about calling you a dupek there. I'm just a little rattled that the article's writer used many counterfeit Polish jokes in there. And yeah, Poland's not perfect, but it sure beats the hell outta North Korea, that's for sure. If you think Poland is pretty fucky, then go to North Korea & Poland will seem like heaven. To be sure, though, the good ol' U.S. of A has problems too, but that's life, eh? However, as for Duckcity, it don't flow with me, homey, know what I'm sayin'? But, Stalingrad being the name of Warsaw's ex-president is funny. Also, I know why you have no sacred cows over there: Because you took a bunch of vans, stuffed them inside, took some rocket launchers, & fired them at the vans & barbecued those suckers.
Poles are race since Japanese & Chinese are race.
Errr, this is very interesting. I understand that germans are seperate race, french, slovaks, and so on? You have pretty strange definiton of "race" here.
No, Jorge Pepperd has pretty strange definition of "race" here.
In short: Laughing? Well, only a little, because this article could use rewriting here & there. Making fun? Yep. Stereotypes? Well, since there are a bunch of fake Polish jokes, I cannot comment. Satire & parody? Yep, even if this article don't flow with me in places. I'm not crying, I'm just planning to do something.
P.S. Is it true that President Kaczynski has a twin brother for prime minister?
Yep. I must introduce polish backup joke about Kaczyński twins. :> --MaDeR 10:50, 15 August 2006 (UTC)
P.P.S. I'm sorry about what happened to the Polish hockey team during Spring Training.


I would love to meet a guy or a group of people that created the article, just to see who the hell has such lousy and tasteless sense of humour... I'd never visited Poland after reading all this crap! "be funny and not just stupid"... haha I think someone forgot about the first thing, bah

Your complimentary syringe and bag of skag are in the post. -- User:Codeine/sig 00:43, 10 February 2006 (UTC)
If you judge country by article about this country in Uncyclopedia, then you're simply fucking stupid little shit. --MaDeR 18:28, 12 February 2006 (UTC)

it is not funny at all. it's more than stupid! you have no fucking idea about Poland, Polish people, our rich culture or our long and meanigfull history! you know nothing! I'm simply shocked! I feel sorry for you (the article's writer) and your shallow sense of humor! no, no no! I do have a sense of humour so if it was funny I would laughing, right? bu it is not. it's rude, offencive and basicly it's a bunch of lies! in this so called "article about Poland" you haven't mentioned one pretty important cultural aspect... Polish women! have you ever met a very angry and determinent Polish woman? I'm sure you haven't. I hope you will meet me one day... just tell me when and where and I'll be there just to show you how Polish people behave after reading a fucking article full of fucking boulshits and written by some fucking nazi! I can promise you I will explain to you in details the difference between the truth and the lie and you will regret evry single word you wrote here! just try me!


Please delete wulgarism in National Greetings!

No. This is why it is here. This is fucking funny, see? --MaDeR 10:50, 15 August 2006 (UTC)
Dude, if you want fucking funny, go fuck a clown.

Ha, all the Polish I know I learned from the dictionary of Polish obscenities by one, ahem, Stanisław Kiełbasa. Not really, but this article is funny, even though I don't know much about Polish other than the pronunciations and 27 different ways to say "Up yours!". -- 04:52, 13 September 2006 (UTC)


I can't believe this page is locked! You pussies! It isn't very funny either in the history department. What happened? The not funny disease seems to have extended to the Polish-Lithuanian Empire article, which read like Wikipedia, except for the fact that for an article about Polish history, there weren't 2562365 editors (conceivably all from Poland). I tried to improve it, venting out my frustration with Wiki nationalists. Let me know what you think. Or don't, see if I care.-- 01:24, 8 November 2006 (UTC)

What is the deal with the hoolahoop/coordination joke? Is that a Polish inside joke foreigners don't know about? Can someone let me in on it?--Waaahhh 05:11, 28 November 2006 (UTC)


I have an idea! Can somebody add the 4th national anthem? It names "Kaczor, coś ty zrobił?" ("Duck, what have you done?") - by polish blues-rock band "Dżem", and it fits perfectly for polish anthem:) Thanks.

Fucking idiots, now we gonna laugh in polish uncyclopedia abou USA, "Do you wanna be American idiot ? One nation controlled by Jewish milions."

And I guess GreenDay's supposed to be insulting? Ah, shot your fuck up...
Actually, it's: Don't wanna be an American idiot/Don't want a nation that under the new mania. And, I'm polish too and I don't feel insulted at all.
So we Americans might as well poke Poland about Polish anti-Semitism, which of course is a Russian and German import. :p Rickyrab 21:49, 17 February 2009 (UTC)


Please, add interwiki to Turkish article.--Absurd 17:47, 11 April 2007 (UTC)

OK, I've added interwiki for the Turkish article--KOS-MOS 16:26, 13 April 2007 (UTC)

Czy Wy nie znacie polskiej ortografii ?![edit]

Zupełnie nie rozumiem , jak Wy ,Anglicy , Amerykanie i kto z Was tam jeszcze mówi po angielsku , tacy wykształceni , piszecie polskie słowo "wódka" jako "wudka" ?! Apeluję o zachowywanie polskiej ortografii !

I do not understand how (as) you completely, englishmen, americans and there who says from you else in english

A tak przy okazji , potrafilibyście powiedziec " W Szczebrzeszynie chrząszcz brzmi w trzcinie " , "Konstantynopolitańczykowianeczka" i " Stół z powyłamywanymi nogami " ? Ha !

                                  Z wyrazami szacunku dla osób anglojęzycznych 
What did you say? please say it again in English--KOS-MOS 16:26, 13 April 2007 (UTC)

Czy Ty naprawdę nie rozumiesz sensu nonsensopedii?

Jednym słowem przygłup. One word - a idiot. Joseph Klariga

oh my god!! when i'm reading that (comments, i mean) i'm ashamed of being polish. don't u know what is satire? what is sarcasm? the article is awsome! i love it! :)

LOl.I am a polish and can translante ;) I don't understend you Biritsh and americans.You can't correctly write in polish. Wódka no wudka.You americans and britsh are very clever nationality.

oh God, there are lots of idiots around. Guy on the top said that you, english and americans, should respect polish fuckin ortography (it's really fucking :P) and don't write "wudka" but "wódka". (these words sound identically, but the first has an ortographic error). The next post: "BTW, could you say words like: "W Szczebrzeszynie chrząszcz brzmi w trzcinie" "Konstantynopolitańczykowianeczka" i " Stół z powyłamywanymi nogami"?" So, ok i explain (wow what's a rhyme): i'm sure you couldn't be able to :]

Lol, wudka, lol xD Nauczta się lepiej pisać pa rusku anglickie i jankeskie ciecie, bo po polsku Wam coś nie wychodzi ;d Chwała PRL! Z poważaniem Towarzysz Ivan Ivaniuk, Citizen of PRL.


flag part[edit]

flag joke is funny, you only forgot to make joke about flag of monaco

graphic "Polskie drogi.jpg"[edit]

I suggest to add to describtion of the graphic ("Polish roads are famous throughout the world. Roads like this one are very common.") translation of text on the sign: "Tree in the road". I'd do it myself but article is locked. Silmethule 08:28, 27 June 2007 (UTC)


theres no (ovious)mentioning of th efact that olmost every european superpower there ever was has invaded poland. that and the polish national anthemn is just a bunch of "ofter the <insert country name here> occupation, we came again!" poland has ben shared about 5 times, like 3 of them between russsia and germany. poland ceased to exist in the 1700 and was reconstructed in teh WW1 peace treaties. i mean, C'mon! this is one of teh most tragicomic country history facts ever and theres no mention about it!

No reference to "you forgot poland"[edit]

Great quote that need to be referenced somewhere. Maybe a Kanye West quote of some sort? --Peterekras 17:59, 2 October 2007 (UTC)


-- 22:25, 14 October 2007 (UTC)i just hope nobody will treat it seriouslly... very funny, i don't feel it ofensive.

Red light district[edit]

In Poland Red light district we call Israel . And German district is Morgue .

Transtalion of National anthem"[edit]

"Hej sokoły" "Hey, falcons" "Suck my Duck" "Polskę trzeba zLepperować" "Poland should be Leppered"

Polish flag similarities[edit]

The Chile flag puts a blue square with a star inside, above the red bottom half of flag. Texas state flag doubles the blue square to the left half of the flag, also has a star in it. Proof positive the "smart" Polacks helped build these countries (see also Polaquia). Note: Polaquia is located either in Catalonia, Galicia (Spain) or La Rioja in Spain. Spanish historians traced ther Visigoths to Poland, so the Spaniards may be Polish. 05:34, June 22, 2011 (UTC)

its realy funny but history is bad[edit]

u know ... we won that bet in 1410, and the people who was called "krzyżacy" (crossman), who was germans had to stick those swords and walk around like that

1. We have won battle in 1410.

Yes, we won that battle - someone (I mean a native English) should change it, it's even written in your guide "how to be funny" not to write facts in the opposite way. 23:14, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
One more thing - 1410 is the only date in Polish history necessary to remember by every Pole, because it contains the famous proportion of ingredients for making Bimber (1kg of sugar, 4liters of water and 10dkg of yeast). Put it in some funny way there. Cheers :)

And 1 more polish sentence: Pocztmistrz z Tczewa czka

That's really nice, I haven't heard it, but it's spelled Poczmistrz... In English Poczmistrz z Tczewa czka = The postmaster from Tczew hiccups. 23:14, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

Niezbyt dobrze piszę i mówię po angielsku- przepraszam za wszystkie błędy. My English is no very good- sorry for all mistakes. Żartowanie na temat Polski podczas II wojny światowej NIE JEST SMIESZNE. Obraża to moje uczucie jako Polaka. Jokes about Poland in second world war is NOT FUNNY! This offenced my sentiments as Polish. I naprawdę proszę przestać żartować z "głupich i śmierdzących" Polaków... And really please stop jokes about "stupid and stinking" Polish...

Don't listen to him, if it wasn't true in his case he wouldn't be offenced :) 23:14, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

Just a qucik edit please:[edit]

Duckcity -> Duckburg, as this, I think is what the authors were aiming at.

What interessting! Polisch nationality not exist!! That ist just profession known in all the World.

C'mon, unlock this article[edit]

Somebody say this before, but this article really need to growing! :D I know there is a lot of idiots, and they probadly will put here a lot of shit, but I hope everybody will keep it in good sense of humor.

And I have a one suggest: "National Hero(es)" layer can't be Blank!!! There is a lot of polish heroes, like Gosiewski, Rydzyk, Adam Malysz, Roger, Majewski (Szymon) vel Ed Ącki, Ewa Drzyzga, Kwaśniewski (famous visit on ours east neighbors universitet) etc.

PS. Sorry for all mistakes above ;]

The creators of article should suck a dick :D

Do you mean the creators of this article, or the creators of article? This is vital information if I'm to inform them of your wishes. Not that they'll care, but it's not like you considered that either. User:Boomer/sig/2 03:26, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
Well, it seems that Ędward Ącki was somehow overlooked, not mentioned here and he doesn't even have his page on uncyclopedia...He should be treated more seriously here! 23:33, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

Some omissions[edit]

It would be worthwhile to note that:

  • has a famous Pole at , though of course it is only a simple Pole and so probably not a very good dinner party guest.
  • Slough is an exclave of Poland.

80801742 20:48, 28 June 2008 (UTC)

Politics of Poland[edit]

The whole section is completely outdated. The current ruling party is Platforma Obywatelska/Civic Platform, lead by Donald Tusk. Referred to in the article as Puking Ovens (I don't get why it should be funny). Apart of PO, we have only 3 more parties in the parliament:

PiS (Owtlaw and Injustice)
PSL (farmer's party, not mentioned in the article)

I can see that the article was featured, but it was in 2005 - things change and you should unlock it to keep up!! 23:53, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

Quick image replace[edit]

Dammit, I just wanted to replace
Worldbymicrosoft.jpg with Worldbymicrosoft.png
but all of a sudden, the thing is locked. Any help for a guy? Guspolly 08:07, 26 August 2008 (UTC) Right, fix'd that. Cheese 12:57, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

hi poland[edit]

poland hi from caco cherrs

sycamore who is he[edit]

poland who is sycamore

wódka no "wudka"

Polish Invasion of Ireland[edit]

I think this should definately be mentioned. The Polish were finally subdued with low paid jobs.

So edit it! MrN Icons-flag-gb.png 21:26, Sep 16

Just a little correct.[edit]

I admit it's hella fun, but in 1410 it wasn't Chrobry but Jagiełło..

And the second thing.. one teacher in Norway used your site to teach children how is "Good afternoon" in Poland, so.. check here if you don't believe: (you'll need translator to understand in case you don't speak polish.)

Anyway this site is quite fun, so keep the good job, but try not to hurt anybody's feelings with it.

Sorry for my mistakes, but I'm in kinda hurry. 10:46, 19 October 2008 (UTC) Aidan. here some Poland city name(sorry for language)


Because there's no option to edit page I send you some greetings:

Spierdalaj (pronounced: s-peer-thala-y, meaning: Run away very fast).

Split it up[edit]

I think "polish langueage" should be an another article. I'll fix it if you don't mind. [wilków3] [nie bij mnie]

Polish Army facts[edit]

  • How did the Poles fought back the Nazis?

The Poles walked backwards (they were fighting BACK).

  • Why did the Poles allowed the Soviets to take over?

The Poles walked backwards (to "freed" them from Nazis).

And finally, how did the Poles got rid of the Jews? The Poles walked backwards (to freaked out the Jews).


Some who can, add this, or a variation of this:

One warning about poles would be that they are particulalarly painful if walked into, causing the person to fall to the ground and see stars. However, the pain is amplified if the subject person may be moving at a faster rate i.e running or sprinting. However this in turn does supply other pedestrians with the advantage that such an incident may be particularly amusing, causing them to lay in the same position as the person who walked, ran or sprinted into the pole, seemingly having a fit, and making loud noises of amusement.

Should the entire article be deleted?[edit]

Because currently, Uncyclopedia remembers Poland. However, Poland cannot be remembered. Should Uncyclopedia be changed to reflect this fact?

(Or, preferably, is there a notice-box that can be put up to indicate that Uncyclopedia does not remember this article?) Quint Sakugarne 00:30, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

joł madafaka[edit]

National Greetings – it should be "pierdolisz (peer-doll-eesh)" instead of "pierdolić". fix it, please 15:42, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Thank you for your suggestion! When you feel an article needs fixin', please feel obligated to make whatever changes you feel are needed, (even though they'll probably be reverted 5 seconds later). Uncyclopedia is a wiki, so almost anyone can edit almost any article by almost simply following the edit link almost at the top. You don't even need to log in in most cases! (Although there are some reasons why you might like to...) The Uncyclopedia Cabal encourages you to be italic. Don't worry too much about making honest mistakes—they're likely to be found and corrected quickly, and your 6 month ban will fly by faster than you think. If you're not sure how editing works, check out proper wiki formatting, or use the sandbox to try out your vandalizing skills. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png 15:48, Feb 21

wha!? page is locked, check it out. and it also has to be "co ty, kurwa, pierdolisz" (with comas and not "pierdolić")

one more suggestion, we have our own "buffalos from Buffalo" sentence; "wydrze wydrzę wydrze wydrze wydrze wydrzę" (otter's little otter will take away otter's little otter from otter), so what's "even worse"? :P please, add it. 21:09, 21 February 2009 (UTC) (time to create an account)
Get an account. Wait 3 or 4 days... You will be able to edit the page. Enjoy. MrN Icons-flag-gb.png 21:18, Feb 21


Go Poland! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 21:16, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

nothings funny. Wilcy 11:47, 22 February 2009 (UTC)

About beginning[edit]

Don't you feel the beginning of the article is a bit opressive? I'd recommend replacing "living in the worst places" etc. by something like "they're nature-loving nation, pickin up their tents in city parks or even in the downtown of Dublin" -> Dublin, for Ireland is more popular destination for job-seeking Poles than Scotland. And here's something for the dummies writing here in Polish: NAUCZCIE SIĘ CHOĆ PODSTAW ANGIELSKIEGO ZAMIAST ROBIĆ Z SIEBIE IDIOTÓW!


If the king is double-headed Donald Duck - add the same (or sth like "the second head of it") in the place of the Prime Minister (his name is Donald, and the presidents surname came from a polish word for "duck"). But in case of their permanent disagreement (president vs. prime minister) I'd suggest placing "Donald" for the p.minister and "Duck" for the president, as it was visible that's connected

Yes! Why there is no prime minister?

Editors still looking for his name. Actually its Prime Minister Mr. Donald I promise to, I'm going to, next year I'll, the time is coming to, I will do, soon I'll... -Yikes2 23:12, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

I almost forgot, Jarek the evil twin: he's the one who everyone likes, he has a wife and several children, a big dog, several bank accounts, is very popular, is a bit distant from his mother, has never threatened Donald with a gun, thinks Walesa is an anti-communist hero, is nice to gays, and is a red blooded burger-flipping five-times-a-night heterosexual. ;-)


Szedł Sasza suchą szosą, suszył sobie spodnie. - it should be "Szedł Sasza suchą szosą, suszył sobie sztruksy." Sztruksy is kind of trousers. 20:38, 14 June 2009 (UTC)


What about Grenland flag? its nearly same like polish but with inverted circle in it...

The article fails to mention this[edit]

With abortions gays and pedophiles in the West, and Communists, vodka and radiation in the East, Poland is the only decent God-fearing country in the World!

Who is David Gancarczyk between those famous people? Polish wikipedia doesnt know anyone named that. Maybe you meant Seweryn Gancarczyk? Well, proffesional retard could suit him XP

Genetic scientists reported Baltic genes already in Britain![edit]

No shit, there was a human genome study report on the high level of mtDNA originated in present-day Poland or Lithuania/Latvia, and the frequency of Baltic genes awashed on the British isles about 6,000 yrs. ago! Does that mean Poles knew their way around? Sorry, you went the wrong way, you didn't get to Russia by sailing west.+ PotatoSmut 08:39, December 8, 2009 (UTC)

Medical care[edit]

If there is a mention of "scalp hunters" then you must link it: , because no one knows about it. Qqq1 12:28, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Great article[edit]

First, sorry for my mistakes, but my English is really bad ( I'm hope you will understand something ) I'm from Poland, and I can't stop laughing after I read this :) In my opinion the funniest parts of this article are Culture of Poland and pictures :P But please, Don't insult us so much - it discredits us. The User Of Nonsensopedia - Mrowa57 11:18, April 12, 2010 (UTC)


Our country is very funny in your Uncyklopedia! Thanks!

Well, now listen up suckers! if you have something to Polish is up to you! But I will not tolerate pictures of my country I feel offended your country is NOT! So wara from Polish ... This may be fun for you no good you found of fun but for me it is painful to the people we too have feelings! maybe you looked at yourself! This is too beautiful you are! And now I know why piszecei because, you know that in Poland women are nice and thick like the U.S. are not well-groomed woman! just jealous of us !!Sincerely resident Polish!

Pole says![edit]

I am Pole! And this article makes me angry!!! (Because I want to heve this flag!;)) 19:38, October 26, 2010 (UTC)

    PS. Do you know that in Poland You write: "Bolesław Pros" and You read: "Aleksander Głowacki"(Alexander Guo-va-tski) 20:06, October 26, 2010 (UTC)


I believe someone should archive this please. Thanksz. DJ Mixerr 17:45, October 30, 2010 (UTC) User:DJ Mixerr/sig

my impression[edit]

I am from Poland. That's the reason i came by to read this article. You'd expect me to give a couple of pointers as to how it could be improved, if not make changes myself. I won't. The article in it's current state is retarded 100% and should be replaced entirely; not a word is worth keeping. If you're older than 15 and find anything funny in the article, you should feel bad about yourself.

I heard are Englishmen boors, but this..... Why did you do that ? Why that all hate ? I know this is Uncyclopedia, but why we must take offens each other ?

When i see all those entries from Poles i kinda shamed that I'm from Poland. Have a little taste of humour, boys! It's a occasion to laugh at yourself because a lot things in here are true. For the guy there ^ The people aren't doing this to offend us or something. I'm also embarassed of the guy at the top of this discussion... "H*j wam w dupy(...)" It's stupid. Sorry for my English if it was bad etc...