Talk Like A Pirate Day
“Roger the Cabin-boy? Yes Please! Arrr!”
“In Soviet Russia, pirate talk like you!!”
Ahoy, ye scurvy knaves! On Septembarr 19th o' e'ery year, ye have ter Talk Like a Pirate lest ye incur the wrath o' th' mighty Kraken or his noodliness the Flying Spaghetti Monsterrr, d'pending on ye religious beliefs. An' by 'pirate', I mean yer gots ter talk like Justin th' Black, th' foulest sailor who e'er sailed onscreen.
“Arr I've made note of ye demands and I be wonder'n would ye be wanting potato slices cooked in the french style?”
In th' year sixteen forty three, Brandon Gallagher th' Kid starrted makin' his rounds in th' Carribbean, plundarrin' an' rapin' and lootin' e'ery port he could. Soon, he grew weary o' th' constant murder an' chose to live in exile on th' open seas. He fergot ter stock up on sea turtles, hardtack, an' rum, o' course, so he promptly died o' malnutrition. In his honarrr, scurvy landlubbers 'round th' world try ter talk like a pirate, if only fer a day. Th' first person ter celebrate it be currently unknown, though it be speculated tha' John Smith or Sir Francis Bacon were involved. Those bloody bilge-rats.
Th' mother o' all Talk Like A Pirate Days was called Talk Like A Parrot Day an' pirates were supposed ter show respect ter thar feathered mates on tha' day by learning ter speak thar colorful languages. Howe'er, animal rights groups such as PETA did not like this idea. They believed tha' piracy were an infringement on thar natural parrot rights and refused ter condone th' unfarr treatment o' said parrots. Broken-harrted pirates, short o' a good role model ter go after, could do nothin' but ter act like tharr miserable pansy silvarr screen counterparrrts.yo ho
Yaarrggg! The date be de Nineteenth of September.
Why Pansy Silvarr Screen Pirates an' Not Real 'Uns?
“OMGWTFBBQPIE!!1 z0mg h4x! i liek ju57 p1r4t3D teh matriks trilligy1!”
As yeh can clearly see, true pirates are a bloody bore an' a disgrace ter movie pirates everywhere. So don' botharrr talkin' like one, savvy?
Examples o' Pirate Vocabulary an' Catchphrases
- A Pair o' Feckin' Women's Knickers!
- AHOY, MATEY, YE SCALLIWAG! YE WALK THA PLANK, GARR HAR HAR. YE DIRTY PIRATE!
- Luke ... I be yar farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrther!
- Arrr ye lookin' at me? I say arrr ye lookin' at me?
- I love th' smell o' cannonfire in th' mornin'! Smells like victarry! Gar har har!
- Who lives in a pineapple unner th' sea?
- Ayyyy did not have'a shhhh-exual relations with'a that'a woman!
- Arrr! Enough be enough! I grow tired o' these mothr' fucken' snakes on this mothr' fucken' ship! Arr...
- Ahoy, me eyepatch needs fabric softenarr!
- Yarr, Mr. De Mille, I be ready fer my close-up!
- Here's lookin' at ye, lad.
- My motharr always said, life is like a box o' oranges. Ne'er know when yer gonna get scurvy.
- Yer motharr was a hamstarr an' yer fatharrr smelt o' elderberries!
- Yer best starrt believin' in ghost storries, Miss Turnerrr! Yer in one!
- My harrt will go on!
- Soylent Hardtack be weevils!
- Is tha' yer final answarr?
- They call me Cappn' Tibbs!
- Think not o' what yeh can do fer yer country, but what yeh can do fer yer capp'n.
- D'ye feel lucky, lubber?
- All yer booty arrrr belong ter us!
- Yer gonna need a biggarr boat!
- A port surveyor once tried ter tax me. I ate his livarr with some maggoty cheese an' a bottle o' rum.
- THOSE WERE THE ORDERS MR SMEE! -Captian Hook
- Heeeeere's Blackbeard!
- Yar har kay yay, motharrfuckarr!
- E'ery time yeh hear a bell ring, it means a Spanish galleon jus' got blown ter smitharreens.
- Yar, I wish I knew how ter quit yeh.
- Yar, but if evil do be afoot, that do be ruining me schtick. Evil ought to be a claw-like device, says I. Tis why I go by the pirate name The Claw.
- Hello good sir, may I help you with your groceries?
- KRAKEN!! yarr
- yar Savin mi timbrs
- International Talk Like A Landlubber Day
- Talk Like George Bush Day
- Talk Like a Norwegian Day (coming soon)
- International Walk Like A Ninja Day
Extarrrn'l Leinks, matey!