Tammy Wynette

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Tammy Wynette.

Tammy Wynette[edit]

Tammy Wynette, the name given to Kaiser Wilhelm's favourite talking zippo, was last seen in the year 1915, having just singed the Treaty of Versailles, along with assorted European heads of state. Her actions are widely regarded to have brought about the phenomenon now known as Happy Monday to many. While singeing the treaty, Tammy was secretly planning her new career as a musician, what with governmental work having run its course for her and bored her subsequently to tears.

A portrait of Tammy Wynette, commissioned by Kaiser Wilhelm in honor of Avocado

Other bad moments in breakfast history[edit]

It's not common knowledge, but the only thing keeping the economy running are zippos, such as the one seen to your right. They are responsible for most of the great innovations of the last few thousand years, including themselves and the concept of taking the skinheads bowling.