Tara Reid

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Dr. Tara Elizabeth Reid (b. November 8, 1975) is a minor research authority in the fight against AIDS. Her research methods are unorthodox and her findings usually startling.

Biography[edit]

Childhood[edit]

Raised on a farm in New Jersey, young Tara was fascinated by the animals around her, and by their strange antics. For hours she would watch a "boy horse" try to leapfrog a "girl horse." After some time, she engaged her friends in experiments of this nature.

Having little access to scientific papers, her unnatural curiosity led her to make many fascinating discoveries. She would often place herself, a Girl, Around the Fire, and get to the bottom of Urban Legends. People who grew up with her have said she performed her experiments without any Cruel Intentions.

Studies[edit]

Dr. Reid graduated Laude Summa Cum from Hoponkins Johns University with a degree in Chestal Biology. Her thesis paper was titled, "Revealing Spheroid Attractors in the Cipriani Construct" and it garnered her world wide attention. Photos of her revealing her spheroid attractors (later proved to be artificial) can be found throughout the internet.

Research[edit]

Lebowski / Coen[edit]

After graduation, Dr. Reid found a position with Dr. Coen and his brother, Dr. Coen. While working on "The Lebowski Project," Dr. Reid worked almost exclusively with rabbits. Her studies included separating a mated (though age-challenged) pair of Red Breasted Money Grubbers and forcing the male to give up his nest egg for the female.

Much to the dismay of other researchers, Dr. Reid did not reveal her spheroid attractors during this project.

American π[edit]

Following her work with the brothers Coen, Dr. Reid moved on to form a research collective with scientists with her peer group. Together, they worked long and hard on the mating rituals of pubescent animals. Though it was thought that Dr. Reid would reveal her spheroid attractors during this project, she did not.