Technical problems

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File:Book.jpg The Loading of this page encountered a technical problem. Please Try Again later/Restart The Application. Sorry for the inconvenience

“Technical problems, they aren't my problem”

~ Bill Gates on his operating systems

“There is something wrong with this program”

~ Captain Obvious on technical problems

“There is something wrong with this program?”

~ Captain Oblivious on technical problems

“Word application is Terminating”

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger on the attempt to write his candidate speech

“What seems to be the problem office 2003”

~ Some Lady From The 50's on the closing of her multiple office programs closing

The Basics, An introduction To Technical Problems[edit]

Technical problems come in all shapes and sizes, the most common forms of technical problems are usually Microsoft Windows related/caused/enhanced. If there is a rare occasion that you may encounter a technical problem without the source being a Microsoft you should savor the moment maybe even taking a small ounce of time of your life to get a camera and take a picture including friends and family, just like the pictures you take when you go on holiday.

Human Error[edit]

As is a fact machines never are the problem, even if the machines or tools are the problem the design is without doubt created by a human. This kind of action results in a terrible cycle of ever greater error on each complete lap of this cycle, this will eventually be one of the leading factors of the downfall of the human race

Microsoft The leading Producer Of Technical Problems[edit]

Savor the moment its not often something happens like this, but if it does Firefox even restores what you were doing pre to the program breaking, passwords and everything

As has been stated in the introduction, Microsoft is the main source of technical problems and Human Error, this is due to their world leading department of Technical Problems and Errors, they have been able to export faulty, rubbish operating systems and programs all over the world, ultimately resulting in a crash of these products. As the windows using public are (dumb consumers or was it dum) they will result in buying a newer system such as the newest success of the Technical Problems and Errors department the new exciting way to crash and ruin your computer Windows Vista (to find out more about this spectacularly evil please feel free to follow the link)

Please Try Again Later/Restart The Application[edit]

When used as part of a program such as Microsoft Word:

Internet Explorer in its most common form - pagus notarus-displayus

This is just a cheap, sleazy way to keep you using this error ridden application. In 95% of circumstances it is more of an order than a request, upon stating this the application will close, if you thought that was bad just to ice the cake it will delete all the work you have been doing and slaving over for hours, meaning you have lost a 3 hour 42 minute section of your life that you could have spent enjoying yourself. usually to accompany this as a Microsoft empire of evil product it will send an error report to try and fool the user into thinking they care, in cruel reality it is to take and is used as a motivatory tool to give the workers of Microsoft a good laugh, while they sit knowing they could have spent 10 more minutes on finishing off the C++ but they actually decided to go take a coffee break

When used as part of an internet web page:

Do not be fooled by this clever invisibility cloak it is just a cheap way so you refresh the web page thus being added as another "click" on the page so that the owner and writer of the site can be happy they can gain another wad of cash from their advertisements and sponsors they contain. In short form never ever return to this site, you will become frustrated and angry about how life works, where you fail to get to see or read what you would like to, but some nerd will gain the ability to buy a new pool or limo, maybe he will go for the alternate option of splashing some of his cash around to gain a new gold digger girlfriend

Runtime Error[edit]

If you encounter a runtime error, this is because you have either been downloading too much copyrighted material or you are up to something illegal, and The Feds are already on their way. The runtime error message is telling you "its time to run!" and if you go right now, you might make it.

"Sorry For The Inconvenience"[edit]

This is just another one of those tricks you come across, much like the description of the programmer and the coffee break. This so called "Sorry" is just a way to make you think that the creators of these problems care about you and your life. The "sorry" is meant in an almost ironic way, meant to make you feel inferior, just because you can't program script and create yourself a superior version of the original product, leaving you stuck with someone else's half arsed attempt at writing something to make your life "easier" and no ability to change that. just throwing you in a hole... then leaving you to die, maybe shooting you in the kneecaps as a form of entertainment first.


Never buy anything computer related unless its an apple mac, Learn to write programs yourself (there is "high paying jobs where you can wreck the lives of others if you get good enough at it" in it for you). Humans are the source of all error the only way to become error free is lock yourself in an empty room and never ever do anything ever again, try not even to breathe you might even do that wrong... But most importantly avoid windows programs, there are better things on the internet go on try Google, the time spent will pay off eventually... when you dont have to retype that coursework or essay all again due to a crash from MS Word 2003

Related Topics[edit]