Teen Mpreg

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Typical teen elf mpreg. Ew....

Teenage Male Pregnancy (commonly shortened to "teen death") is an alarming epidemic among American youth. In 1992, only 2% of the US's population of teenage boys (defined in the statistics as ages 12-17) was or had been pregnant. By 2005, that number had spiked to 81.9%. Interestingly, only males age 12-19 can suffer from teen male pregnancy. The rise of Emo has often been cited as the main cause of the growing numbers of teen mpregs.

Facts[edit]

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  • Teenagers, both male and female, can become pregnant with species other than human, if they have recently engaged in bestiality; this is not true for other age groups.
  • While teenage girls cannot get other teen girls pregnant, it is entirely possible for teenage boys to get each other pregnant. A teen boy cannot be impregnated by a male of any other age range, though he can be impregnated by dominant girls age 3 and older.
  • It is very common for teen boys to get pregnant from their imaginary friends.
  • It is also very common for teen boys to get pregnant as a result of some sort of surprise butt sex, such as bending over to pick up the soap in the school showers.
  • Everyone is always surprised when teenage boys become pregnant, especially the teenage boy in question. It seems it never occurs to the boy that he could become pregnant after being on the receiving end of surprise butt sex.
  • Pregnant teenage boys usually develop breasts, usually larger than those of girls the same age.
  • Contrary to popular belief the urge to die usually predates mpregnancy.
  • Girls born to teen male mothers have about a 50% chance of being born with autism, a condition which causes the girl to age extremely fast and reach age 18 after only three years of birth. Hyperaging in boys is less common, and only ages the person to age 15 within three years.
  • Male teenage mothers often (but not always) develop female characteristics, and sometimes, they appear from the neck down as a girl for the rest of their lives.
  • When pregnant teenage girls give birth naturally, the baby comes out of the girl's vagina, just like with pregnant women. However, when pregnant teenage boys have to give birth naturally, the baby comes out of the boy's flaccid, regular-size penis, which fortunately stretches to accommodate the baby going through it.
  • Pregnant teen girls are allowed to wear a hospital gown when giving birth, to allow at least a little modesty. However, pregnant teen boys boy are expected to give birth completely naked. The reasoning for this is that since the teen boy's genitals (the only things otherwise requiring covering up in public) must be exposed during the birth, there is nothing else of any importance requiring covering up.
  • When a pregnant teen boy gives birth, his younger brothers are often invited into the delivery room to watch. Sometimes his older brothers and father are also invited in as well, particularly if the pregnant teen boy is 14 or younger. Male friends may also be invited in, too. The baby daddy may or may not be present during the birth. When the baby is coming out of the pregnant teen boy's penis, all other males in the delivery room are quietly glad that they are not the one giving birth.
  • In many Native American cultures, any males age 19 or younger who are invited in to watch the pregnant teen boy give birth must also be naked, as a show of support.
  • The youngest teen pregnant boy got pregnant on his 12th birthday, and gave birth naturally exactly 9 months later. The oldest pregnant teen boy gave birth naturally the day before his 20th birthday.
Sexual Fetishes, Paraphilias, and Assorted Perversions