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Temperature is a measure of the combined sum of the randomly distributed Kinetic and Funky Energies of a Molecule under standard conditions 10 Decibels George Clinton.2. It is created by Magnum and Langnese to make humankind pay redicious amounts of money for ice-creams and shade. It is commonly measured using a Temperometetron or Temperature-Gauging-Device, or the good old fashioned put your hand in the boiling water trick. It is based on the Kinetic Model, which states that all matter is made of tiny particles known as Molecules shaped like Kittens, which move around and get down to various degrees depending on how "Hot" the Discotheque is. With great Funkiness comes great Power, and the molecules get on up, get on down, and generally get Jiggly With It. This is Temperature in a hot and steamy nutshell.


We use temperature every day to help us live. For example did you know without temperature you couldn't burn your hands in fires at all! Here are some other uses:

  • Performing The Act
  • Doing That Sort Of Thing
  • Listening to music (See the section on Temperature Waves)
  • Lifting your arm to hit another human in the maxillo-facial region
  • Screaming abuse at your spouses lover
  • Pillow Biting
  • Frothing at the mouth over a lovely sandwich.

Temperature Waves[edit]

When temperature moves along, the molecules get up and wave their arms about then sit down. This was discovered in 1869 in Mexico so is known there as a Mexican Wave. When England discovered it in 1998 we called it Temperature Waves because England is a less vain country according to English People, who confess to being the best people ever. The Temperature Waves run along and carry Funk around the place, a useful property without which Stephen Hawking and Stevie Wonder wouldn't be here today without. The waves however can cause brain damage with prolonged and serious extreme exposure, as seen in the case of Mr. X, who developed a Nucleonic Mind Ray in 1950 in Marvellous Super Hero Comic due to exposure to Temperature Waves.


The Theory, Law ER2022 is the fact that everything loops. For example, temperature. This is a well know fact that temperature loops around in a circle. Absolute zero (0 ER2022) is the lowest an object's temperature can reach, and infinite ER2022 is the highest an object can reach before it instantly become 0 ER2022