Template:Dykdb

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  • ... that you...Please read the Beginner's Guide, and please be funny and not just stupid. You agree to license submissions under CC-BY-NC-SA 2.0.
  • ...that this website may contain words, or traces of words?
  • ...that Mr. Tambourine Man won't take another Bob Dylan request?
  • ...that in 1983 a short, brown haired man named Tom read the dictionary to check for spelling mistakes. Upon finding a word he believed to be misspelt he consulted his dictionary, only to find that the word was spelt correctly.
  • ...that the Internet is a series of tubes?
  • ...that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two wrights make an airplane?
  • ...that the average male under 30 thinks about sex on average every 9 seconds and that the average person over 50 thinks about outliving their retirement income on average every 5 seconds?
  • ...that the more you run over a dead cat the flatter it gets?
  • ...that the day of the storm is not the time for thatching?
  • ...that Methodists can only listen to the Wu Tang Clan?
  • ...that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
  • ...that the theory that amputation of the left leg is a cure for the common cold is not widely accepted in medical circles?
  • ...that there was never actually a man from Nantucket?
  • ...that if more societies burned environmentalists instead of coal, CO2 emissions could be cut by up to 40%?
  • ...that you have new messages?
    • ...that I have more?
  • ...that 99% of heroin users started out on milk?
  • ...that due to international copyright laws, U Can't Touch This?
  • ...that the U.S. Government invented l33t for use in printing license plates on its cars to track which department they belonged to? Thus, a common plate for a Postal Serice-owned car reads "P05741", a CIA-owned vehicle reads "5PY0NU", and an IRS-owned vehicle reads "74X35-D347H".
  • ...that zebras don't have stripes, and every single picture you've seen of them has been Photoshopped?
  • ...that, since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that your Attack just went down by 1 simply by reading this sentence?
  • ...that there is no other word for thesaurus?
  • ...that it was Colonel Mustard in the Broom Closet with Your Mom?
  • ...that the Holocaust is a controversial but hilarious subject?
  • ...that Oscar Wilde beat cancer(and by cancer we mean small children)?
  • ... that I touched it? Fuck you, Hammer.
  • ... that the Google Adverts here are sometimes funnier than the stories? Why not click one!
  • ...that the phrase "Did You Know" is copyrighted by Scholastic Publishing and this website is currently being sued for unauthorised use?
  • ...that, following Greenpeace protests, it was made illegal to eat cheese taken from the moon?
  • ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? The beautiful irony in God's universe is that the 72 are all male Star Trek geeks.
  • ... that this is not a pipe?
  • ...that it's probably not weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ...that if an admin even contemplates updating the DYK section, his existence will be negated?
  • ...that instead of eating or drinking, Mr. T absorbs the crushed self-esteem of the fools he has pitied?
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  • ...that Jesus can walk on water?
  • ...that your love is my love?
  • ...that no one loves you not?
  • ...that Jesus loves you, but everybody else thinks you're a dick?
  • ...that I give a shit only after taking laxatives?
  • ...that chocolate-flavoured Ex-Lax works splendidly?
  • ...that Spiderman has a small penis?
  • ...that there are in fact several wrong ways to eat a Reese's?
  • ...that a bird in hand is better than crabs in bush?
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...that Gerry Adams IS the Lord of the Dance?

  • ...that oldthinkers unbellyfeel Unped?
  • ...that Encydram and Wikped are doubleplusungood crimethinks?
  • ...that Sophia is watching you?
  • ...that James Bond fought for our freedom on numerous occasions, yet not one single day is set aside in his honour?
  • ...that the shampoo adverts were lying, you are in fact not worth it.
  • ...that the creamiest milk, the whitest bar, the good taste thats in Milky Bar was actually paraphrased from a much more disturbing (and incriminating) inaugural speech by Richard Nixon?
  • ...that there are at least three other businesses like show business, as proved by Al Gore in 1976?
  • ...that I'm moist?
  • ...that it is better to have loved and lost than to have lost and found?
  • ...that Fritz Alain won so many awards for teaching Ancient Russian?
  • ...that tin cans, with a string stretched between them, were invented in 1810 by Al Gore?
  • ...that people in New York change careers as often as their underwear?
  • ...that people in New York don't change their underwear?
  • ...that people in New York don't know the difference between software and underwear?
  • ...that June is National Boycott Websites that Insult Their Contributors Month? See ya in July, asswipe!
  • ...that more 200,000 people die every year of papercuts?
  • ...that Journey only appears to have eight letters?
  • ...where your children were at 11PM last night?
  • ...that God made children so annoying on purpose so people wouldn't have too many of them?
  • ...that in 1804, Lewis and Clark set forth across America only to discover... themselves?
  • ...that, according to Steven Tyler, a reason for losing your mind sure can be the fact of going crazy?
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  • ...that Elvis assassinated JFK with his partner in crime, the Lindbergh baby?
  • ...that Billy Joel is an accredited driving instructor?
  • ...that although Gridley Bryant invented many railroad technologies in the 1820s, he never wrote any of the Thomas the Tank Engine books?
  • ...that Beaver College changed its name to Flange College because it "too often misled wildlife conservationists"?
  • ...that in a pinch, hydrogen peroxide can be substituted for alcohol in most cocktails?
  • ...shit?
  • ...that a coping saw is used to overcome weight loss, alcoholism, and gambling addictions?
  • ...that the maximum number of cats you can juggle is fourteen, after which you can juggle no more?
  • ...that the Sun God's gift of cancer is honourable?
  • ...that some species of turtle are remarkably resistant to centrifugal force, and can reach upwards of 5000 rpm before their wee little flippers fall off?
  • ...that Mussolini's favourite film was Land Before Time IV?
  • ...that Tolstoy had to completely rewrite his manuscript for War and Peace when his hard drive crashed?
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left?
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do?
  • ...that four lefts make a circle?
  • ...that at the moment, I'm not wearing any pants?
  • ...that all wooden legs are sold with a kick-stand?
  • ...that questions end in question marks? Not with periods. Or exclamation points!
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...that after Fantasy Island, that guy who yelled "Da plane, da plane !" would return to his native Iraq to serve government official Dr. Asiphus Al Hussein ?

  • ...that the world is NOT actually your oyster, it belongs to ME - ALL MINE!!
  • ...that you touch yourself at night?
  • ...that the flooding of New Orleans was actually caused by a suicide plumber?
  • ...that I just saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to Gecko?
  • ...that when I un-buckle my Trousers of Justice, I unleash the purple-veined Sword of Truth?
  • ...that most superheroes wish they were working part-time? Quality day-care is hard to find these days.
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...that at four o'clock all the honest politicians will shrink down to two feet?

  • ...that encoded into the dot of the "i" in the well-known phrase "Tesco - Every Little Helps" is a carefully worded contract binding your soul and all earthly estate to the will of Beelzebub, our Dark Lord and Master?
  • ...that the popular online game ZZT was actually invented in 1943 by Japanese scientists as an interrogation device? Moreover, did you know that it had a nausea inducement rate of 97% in early trials?
  • ...that when you play the album 'The Last Tour on Earth' by Marilyn Manson backwards you can actually hear the voice of Jesus spreading the gospel?
  • ...that everybody loves you, baby. We're all going England crazy.
  • ...that I have the biggest penis? And the smallest hands?
  • ...that ^ actually has a tiny penis and huge hands? Ladies, don't be fooled.
  • ...that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
  • ...that Bill Gates has a good reason to name his company MicroSoft?
  • ...that he named it that because it describes his penis?
  • ...that you should name your company NanoSoft?
  • ...that micro- means one millionth and nano- means one billionth?
  • ...that in the long run, both mean tiny?
  • ...that I'm the last Prophet of God?
  • ...that Oceania is at war with Eurasia (it has always been at war with Eurasia)?
  • ...that ^ is two minutes out of date? Oceania is at war with Eastasia, fool!
  • ...that Phil the mechanic has the keys to my garage?
  • ...that 75% of all Did you knows are made by 12-year-old bed wetters? - Hey shut up man, you're not playing the game. - You shut up! - No you shut up! - Look, all of you just shut up!
  • ...that I'm not a bed wetter?
  • ...that actually I lied. I am.
  • ...that the guy from Green Day stole my gothic sister's makeup?
  • ...that he stole her panties too?
  • ...that you have the right to remain silent, and that anything you say can and will be used against you?
  • ...that in the criminal justice system the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups: The police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders, and that these are their stories, doink doink?
  • ...that suicide bombers are a bunch of show offs?
  • ...that you are likely to be eaten by a Grue?
  • ...that the Romans are currently looking for the one they call Spartacus?
  • ...that I am Spartacus?
  • ...that no, that I am Spartacus?
  • ...that ...silence... I am Spartacus?
  • ...that only one of these men is the real Spartacus - the other two are impostors. Panel, read along with me, if you will: "I am Spartacus. I was born and raised as a slave. In 73 BC I led a historic slave rebellion against the Roman upper-class. Our battle against the Roman legions, became known as the Third Servile War. Signed Spartacus."
  • ...that my name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius - father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next?
  • ...that my name is Biggus Dickus, and I rank highly in Rome!
  • ...that this may be our last chance to use indented bullet points before EvilZak gets back from vacation?
  • ...that we better make the most of it while we can?
  • ...that we'll make the bullet points undent rather than indent, before this all gets too silly?
  • ...that I'll be Spartacus too, if you want?
  • ...that I'm the Real Slim Shady?
  • ...that he's Spartacus?
  • ...that Spartacus can dance if he wants to?
  • ...that I'm running out of ideas for DYKs?