Template:Pokémon/text

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Pokémon {{{1}}}[edit]

Pokémon {{{1}}}
POKEMONbright.jpg
Evil Pikachu dildis were designed to warp the Cultural Awareness of children. The occupying factor of Orientalism fused with Americanism kept kids hungry for more cartoon-nized faux Asian history.
Developer The Japanese
Release Date to United States children for mind-control, more specifically to indoctrinate fatties living on cheeseburgers and ice cream into historically inaccurate Asian ideology. Gives no information or notes about accurate Japanese cultural standpoints, so kids think Japan is all about anime and yellow rats.
Genre Enslavement
Platforms Game Boy
Rating {{{1}}}
Would Mario play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was coded and tested by the enslaved Republican Ainu peoples in the 19th century in Hokkaido, Japan, but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the fact that most western youth nowadays enjoy watching hours of X-Treme videos of naked Asian chicks dancing to Minato in cosplay suits, the Koreans also sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little western buggers long enough to allow their stoned Republican caregivers in both the US and Korea to sneak out to late night strip clubs and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of Seoul.

Sadly, the Yamato majority was unable to occupy American children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the screaming little brats wanted to train their L3 Jiggly-Snuff after seeing the kick-ass Charred-Wizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them with horsefly maggots or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many Irish beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the Kyoto patent office and introduced to the unhappy world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing Fukushima nuclear toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The release of the game launched many Pokémon careers in the States, including Chris Chan's job at The Game Place for the kiddos.

Charred-Wizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitobou-ru (Meatball). Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jiggly-Snuff and Dildo assumed a career as two gambling Casino whores on Nevada street corners. Dildo was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jiggly-Snuff was forced by Mr. Iwata to sing French opera as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition. [edit]