Tequila Mockingbird

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
(Redirected from Tequila Mocking Bird)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
GOVERNMENT WARNING: According to the Surgeon General, the use of Tequila Mockingbird impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.


“I just want more; I can't get enough of you

Basic Plot[edit]

Tequila Mockingbird is the heart-warming story of young Scooter, a Finch living in a large pine tree. One day Scooter and her brother Jeb, also a finch, climb up to the Atticus of the tree they live in. There they find a dying mockingbird, tragically killed in a hit-and-fly accident caused by a drunk hummingbird (although they ignore stop signs even when they're sober).

The mockingbird dies, but Scooter and Jeb are inspired. They start a "don't drink and fly" campaign in their hometown, codenaming the project at first 'Martini Eagle', but later dubbing it 'Tequila Mockingbird'. The operation is at first a huge success, and drunk flying accidents decrease by over 99%. However, when a forest fire destroys their home, Jeb and Scooter, along with the other forest inhabitants, must rebuild from scratch.

Many avians "drink their troubles away", and death rates soar. Things look hopeless for the heroic duo, until they meet Boo Badkey, a lonely aspiring singer who happens to be a mockingbird. Boo Badkey fled his home forest after being sued over plagerism and copyright issues. Boo joins Scooter and Jeb, and together they launch a successful effort to rebuild their homes. But the troubles are not over yet.

Scooter's world is turned upside down when she finds out that Jeb runs a secret Prohibition beer smuggling company. After his cover is blown, however, Jeb is killed by his mafia boss. Scooter Finch and Boo Badkey marry at the end of the book, creating a feel-good ending.

About the Author[edit]

Robert E. Lee (No relation to Harper Lee, civil war general), writer of "Tequila Mockingbird", was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands. Hardwork and perserverance brought the aspriring author from the urban slums of rural Montana to New York City, where he published "Tequila Mockingbird".

"Tequila Mockingbird" was Lee's first book, but he has told his fans that his next book will be available soon. This will feature Boo and Scout working together too free the forest of cigarettes and break Boo's nicotine addiction.

See Also[edit]