Tesla Coil

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Not to be confused with the Lady Coil

“This week the police uncovered shocking evidence in the EA genocide a few weeks ago”

~ News on Newsguy

“Electrocuting Aids patients is just pure racia... ARGHHH”

~ EA on Tesla Coil on the Parking Lot

“I love the smell of fresh electricity in the morning”

~ Employee on The Westwoord Parking Lot

“Commencing Shock therapy”

~ Tesla Trooper on Tesla Coil on the Parking Lot

“In Soviet Russia Shock Tesla's Coil YOU!!”

~ Tesla Coil on Soviet Russia

“Pain is just weakness leaving the body... reminds me of my first backdoor experience”

~ Oscar Wilde on Backdoor experiences

“At least four Prism tank can beat them...But just beware of the DRONE!!”

~ Captain Obvious on Tesla coil

The Tesla Coil[edit]

For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Tesla Coil.
Take that EA employees!

The Tesla Coil (derived from Russian: Da Njet Litvinenko) was an awful weapon created by Westwood CEO Brett Sperry to keep EA employees away from their parking lots. Although EA claimed they had the right to park their cars there, Westwood didn't agree and hired Tanya and installed her in front of their gate. EA, as lame as they are, deployed an army of Sims to take care of her. When Westwood realized there was no other alternative, they installed the Tesla Coil, and to this very day it still operates perfectly, keeping EA people off their territory.

The Conflict[edit]

A few hundred years ago 2 men (humans) established a company called Westwood near the now flooded West-coast of the USW. The famous Employees with Aids or EA (famous for their game Fifa 2142 that is due to release later this year) decided to raise a building at the other side of the street. A few days after work began in both companies, hell froze over broke loose when a Westwood employee made fun of EA worker suffering from Aids, he responded by launching an armada of Paper aircraft from their roof, destroying an entire wing of the Westwood Developers Centre, although Westwood didn't really care. But in the heat of the fight EA also started parking their cars on their territory. When Tanya, Boris, Terrorists or even Desolators didn't prove any success, they installed a Tesla Coil right at their gate.

A Tesla Coil is well known for it's strong electrical discharge on every chosen target. Westwood, though, had a secret recipe that caused the Tesla only to fire at people suffering from Aids, leaving innocent trespassers alone.

Pine fresh.gif This Burned EA Employee smells funny...

...and has been awarded a Pine-scented air freshener.


Although rated R for strong sexual and shocking violence, Dude! Where's my Tesla Coil?! could be seen all over Russia

The Tesla Coil proved to be a very inspiring source for both writers and directors, resulting in the movie "Dude Where's my Tesla Coil?" (director: H.G. Wells) that, although rated R for shocking violence, could be seen all over Russia.

The movie tells the story about Nikola Tesla, former Westwood employee, who invented the Tesla Coil but lost it after a night of drinking and partying. Kutcher and Tesla start looking and find clues about their evening, but suddenly 2 Aids-patients show up asking them for a Dildo, later on they hand over the Dildo they found in the EA headquarters and avoid a'splosion of Earth. A few hours later they find the Tesla Coil back on the parking lot, doing it's usual job.

Memorable Quotes from Dude, Where's My Tesla Coil?[edit]

Nikola: I think I should rearrange the circuit to dualchannel to decrease the Ohm by 51 Omega, resulting in a much stronger discharge
Kutcher: Dude, I think I should rearrange your mom to dualchannel to increase her brick by 51 pounds, resulting in a much stronger smell

"EA guy:Hi, It's me Chuck Griffins from EA, I'd like to park my car here
"Tanya, the Chinese food lady:And then?!
"EA guy:I would like to get out..
"Tanya, the Chinese food lady:And then?!
"EA guy:I think I would go to work...
"Tanya, the Chinese food lady:And then?!
"EA guy:I would go back to my car!!
"Tanya, the Chinese food lady:And then?!
"Tanya, the Chinese food lady:
"EA guy:Oh great she shut up, now I ca... ARGHHHHHH

Proper use of a Tesla Coil[edit]

See also[edit]