That time a newt nearly entered my uterus during my sojourn on iCarly

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It looked kinda like this, only fucking psycho.

Dude, that fucking thing was huge. Like, WTF?

So there I was[edit]

working of the set of iCarly, doing my Miranda Cosgrove thing with the obnoxious tween sitcoms shit and the rest of the iCarly cast, right? Like, Nickelodeon badass shit.

and this fucking newt[edit]

bursts onto the set, musk all over the place, and instead of going for the rest of the cast, he makes a newtline straight for me.

so I pulled out my[edit]

knife and cut the shit out of the thing, and it tries to craw inside my uterus! WTF?

I barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis cervix.

No, seriously. It nearly entered my uterus.

See also[edit]