The A-Capella Syndrome

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“Kelis”

The A-Capella Syndrome is basically when you become obssesed with cutting your hair a lot. So the frequent going to barber shops triggers this sort of tendency (It's more like a mental fault) to sing acapella. You usually start really slow, like... say you're riding the subway and all of a sudden you start humming real low, but still high enough so that people can hear you. Then all of a sudden you burst into these sort of high squeak moans and you start to dance like in those ol' fifties musicals (See also: "It's oh so quiet"). Then the cops arrive and beat you to death. Yeah, that's how you eventually die (We forgot to mention that the syndrome is lethal).

The A-Capella syndrome is contagious and is transmitted through the eyes. A good treatment for recently infected ones is to wash their head a lot and while you're doing that, tell them "It's oookay. Nothing is going to happen to these little hairs. They just need some rest. Eventually we will cut them, but right now I can.... I can actually hear them.... oh!..... they're saying (Now use a very high pitched voice) "Oooh please don't cut us! We have been nice! We could take a vacation" Well, there you go, fella. They said it, so we might as well let them rest".