The AAAAA-Team

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Despite having the same actors, this show is in no way linked to The AAAA-Team. Absent: John Lennon
"Quit laughing, dumbass... YOU'RE NEXT!!"

“Seriously this A/AA/AAA/AAAA/AAAAA-Team crap is going too fucking far!”

~ Oscar Wilde on The AAAAA-Team



"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they did commit: installing a nitrous oxide system in a Humvee, a vehicle that did not yet exist. These men promptly escaped from a low security stockade to the Detroit underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as crackshot mechanics for AAAA. If you have a problem, if your car is broken down, and if you need to get to work or school or whatever, maybe you can hire... THE AAAAA-TEAM."

Thus begins the follow-up to The AAAA-Team, titled The AAAAA-Team. After the end of the highly-successful show The AAAA-Team, millions of people demanded more. However, Vanilla Ice had been killed for his part in the series, so the producers decided to resurrect him. They were able to do so, but he turned out to be a zombie, and as such, was often dubbed Dead Vanilla Ice. After much tweaking and fiddling around, a new show debuted, titled The AAAAA-Team. However, despite having practically all the same actors, the show is not linked to The AAAA-Team, The AA-Team, The AAA-Team, The A-Team or The Gay Team, for that matter. No, seriously.

The Show[edit]

That dog is humping! i want some!- George Bush

The show revolved around five mechanics for AAAAA who were wanted by the government for putting nitrous on a military vehicle that didn't exist yet and being redundant. The team went around fixing people's cars & shooting up the bad guys who tried to thwart them. However, as in The AAAA-Team, they displayed a remarkable inability to shoot the bad guys, possibly due to magnetic forces in the Earth's core or their guns being loaded with high-density lead bullets or something. The team's vehicle of choice was a AAAAA-issued tow truck of various models. They first had a 1987 Chevy Suburban dually, but then changed to a 1993 turbo diesel model later in the series, changed again to a 1999 Ferrari F50 turbo diesel, and is now a 2005 Hotdog turbo diesel. However, because these trucks could only seat 3 people at most, 2 people had to ride on the back of the truck & throw a bunch of crap at anyone who was pursuing them. Whatever the passenger configurations, Dead George & G.M. never rode in the same part of the truck due to G.M.'s dislike for Dead George.

The Characters[edit]

  • Col. H.M. "Howling Mad" Dead George Peppard
Leader of the team, and a master of disguise. Very crazy, & also a zombie. G.M. dislikes him due to his overall zombie-ness & craziness. Also has the ability to play dead, because he is! Redundant.
  • Lt. Templeton "Lincoln" Mercury (or "Link" for short)
Cigar-smoking womanizer. Also the brother of the late Freddie Mercury of the Band Queen. However, he's only told this to Dwight. Likes Ford Motor Company's products the best. Moribund.
  • Sgt. Gary "G.M." Baracus
Master customizer for the team, and afraid to fly. Dislikes Dead George because he's a crazy zombie fool, and as such, refuses to be in the same spot in the truck. Also shows a bit of dislike for Link because, unlike Link, he likes G.M. products better. Has made certain customizations for the tow trucks they drive. Often drives the tow truck, unless Dead George is in the passenger compartment. Pointless.
  • Capt. Dwight Murdock
Pilot for the team, and generally sane, unlike Dead George. Often pretends to be insane as part of the team's plans or to escape from his captors. Wokless.
  • Completing the quintet is Cab Caloway, Former Hula-Hoop eating Jazz musician. He's also wanted, but that's only because of his association with Jake and Elwood Blues. He often tries to soup up the tow truck or some of the team's inventions, but this usually just causes trouble for the team as he is 129 years old, blind, and dead.

Fun Facts[edit]

  • Despite the tow trucks being powered by diesel engines, the AAAAA-Team is able to outrun pursuing vehicles, thanks in part to G.M.'s modifications & to some of Cab's modifications that actually worked.
  • In 1987, the AAAAA-Team declared "We'll be back!"
  • Sometimes, if Cab is seriously injured due to his failed gadgets/modifications, Allen Toussaint or Lee Dorsey will be called upon to take his place.
  • Just like The AAAA-Team, you can also buy stock in The AAAAA-Team. Unlike The AAAA-Team Stock, the price of this stock seems to fall around peak.
  • Among the upgrades made to the tow trucks by G.M.: Armor plating, Turbocharger, Indestructible tires, various video game systems, etc...
  • As mentioned earlier, deespite having the same actors who played similar characters, this show is in no way linked to The AAAA-Team, The AA-Team, or The Gay Team. Period. End of Story.
  • As a tribute to The AAAA-Team's use of Bendova as a common name for villains, The AAAAA-Team often uses Gemsoda as a villain name. For example, what may have been evil CEO Gemsoda in one episode might be evil supervillain Captain Gemsoda in another. In fact, Captain Gemsoda is a recurring villain in the series. All incarnations of Gemsoda are played by the same actor (Gary Busey) wearing a variety of different penises.
  • In one scene, of the 110th episode, for 1/10 of a second, one can see everyone playing TES: Oblivion, and winning Chuck Norris in the Texas holdem' up thing. This scene was taken out of the DVD.

See Also[edit]