The Anti-Bonzi Prophecies

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The Anti-Bonzi Prophecies were a series of books scribed in 1973 by Donald Trump. The books chronicle the supposed rise to power of Anti-Bonzi, as well as how to make cheddar cheese out of hacksaws and jelly. Trump was inspired to write the books after he had watched a special on dolphins on Animal Planet. After the show ended, he had a revelation, and decided to write the books. Trump wrote the books in morse code, and used gorilla semen as ink. He wrote all of the books detailing the prophecies in approximately 0.3672 seconds. When Trump was finished writing the books, he hid them in various restrooms throughout Sweden, so only the chosen ones could find them. There are seven books in all, although only five have been found so far. It is rumored that the other two were confiscated by the Spice Girls.

This, however, is much disputed by many eyewitnesses, who claim that while the girls were arrogantly parading the books about a local Asian strip club, they were promptly gunned down by several disgruntled pokemon. The books, sadly, were also on the receiving end of the gun fire. As our very reliable source continues, a single, solitary tear slides down her heavily rouged cheek. She reveals, lisping softly, that the owner of the popular Asian hangout then pried the two books from the cold, dead hands of Scary Spice and used them for toilet paper in the club's transexual bathrooms... It is said, on a lighter note, that the information in the books was also the main inspiration for the movie Mean Girls and the song "Work It" by Missy Elliot.

Recent Developments[edit]

On May 12, 2006, a male youth of Cramshananteen, Iran, stumbled upon the 6th book when the Ayatollah stuffed him in the toilet. This has been of much assistance to the Bonzi Buddy, Go Away! movement in Iran. There have been local rumors in Cramshananteen and other 3rd world towns of a revolution against the dictator in order to stop Bonzi Buddy from annihilating the women and bread supply. However, it is speculated that this is useless, as Anti-Bonzi despises Towelheads, and would never help them anyway.

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