The Arctic Kingdom

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Arctic Kingdom


Official language Arctish
Capital The North Pole
Population Billillions
King Santa Claus
Established 1 second after the dawn of time
Army Attack elves, evil reindeer
Currency Ice (1 billion tons = US$1)
Motto "Cold. So cold. Please... help."

Formed one second after the dawn of time, the Arctic Kingdom has always been sworn enemies of The Antarctic Empire, led by the bloodthirsty tyrant Owen Wilson. The North Pole was almost completely melted away by kamikaze penguin pilots who strapped themselves to nuclear warheads and the 6,000 km to the Evil North-Land (penguins can fly, they just choose not to mostly because of how goofy they look).

A new campaign of global warming, initiated by Lord Claus who distributed coal to children around the globe, has melted Antarctica somewhat. But the theft of glaciers from Greenland in 1997 allowed some rebuilding of western regions.


The Arctic Kingdom consists entirely of snow, ice and more goddamn snow.


Ice ice baby.


The Arctic Empire is currently ruled with an iron fist by King Santa Claus, whose millions of elf slaves exist merely to serve the polar war machine. Millions of explosives disguised as toys are sent to Southern penguins every year.




See Also[edit]