The Authorities were a part of the British third-wave punk groups to hit the United Spades of Amerika, and went on to be the greatest musical group of the 1490s, who sold over a dozen records in their nine-month rise and fall. Several of their children formed the Police with Sting.
- Christopher Wallace "Biggie Smalls" (born Bigford Smalls), lead singer
- Alexander the Great, lead guitar
- Josef Stalin, bass
- The FBI, drums
Woody Allen, their roadie, is often considered a member of the band since he is the one who played their record while they silently thrashed out on stage for performances.
The band broke up in early December 1492, citing their non-creative differences: "Biggie Smalls" Brother was a diehard Republican, while the rest of the band was just kind of apathetic towards politics (except Woody Allen, he was then, and still is, a life-long registered Self-hating Jew. After a heated argument over whether or not they should play at the Republican Convention or at St. Peter's Basilica (which would have paid more), they went their separate ways. Without a doubt they will go down as the most meteoric rock band of the late Fifteenth century.
- Symphony in F Major (the 'F' Stands for Fuck You), February, 1492
- Ecrandez l'Infame! (with Voltaire), May, 1492
- The Slim Shady LP, June, 1492
- Self-titled Debut, August, 1492
- Doorway to Heaven (Double LP), November 1492