The Battle of the Letter P

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BY: piemanFile:Battle.jpg "fixed" by Jimmy K(if it's fixed at all)

Devastating battle on June 12th, 1996, between the forces of the McDonald's corporation and Sesame Street.

The battle occurred just outside the fortress of The Count, primarily fought by the zealot-like BattleCruzars led by Captain Murphy and the sinister Uruk-Hai led by Grand Marshall Big Bird.

The McDonald's corporation was advancing on The Count's fortress, and Kermit the Frog was sent there as an embedded reporter. After several minutes of glourious battle, the two armies were at a stalemate. At dawn however, the Burger King rode over a hill in a white robe and yelled "Khazad Derzhendul! The orcs are behind the wall!" And so the McDonald's forces were hit from behind. The Burger King's army of under-paid minions was slaughtering the terrified BattleCruzars when suddenly a hunting kazoo was heard and the McDonald's forces retreated. Kermit the Frog was deep behind enemy lines reuniting with his lost love, Ms. Piggy, when Aloysius Snuffleupagus found him. Enraged from his usage of cocaine to prepare for the battle, but having taken a wrong turn, he seized the hapless frog and brought him to The Count. Kermit the Frog was later rescued by Captain Murphy, but not before being tortured by a vengeful Ernie.

  • Was originally referred to as the "Battle of Hearts, Stars and Rainbows, and the Red Balloons" but was changed for legal reasons.
  • Was a cause for settling the dispute over Saddam Hussain's actual date of birth.

Casualties and Loses[edit]

While the loses to both sides were tremendous, several things stood out:

  • Kermit the Frog lost both his legs
  • A stray shot from a slingshot scarred the Burger King forever, forcing him to wear a mask.
  • The leader of the McDonald's forces was killed, leaving his spot open. Ronald McDonald then took it, and began to insert himself into the very existence of the restaurant.