The Beefeater

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about The Beefeater.

“I don't get it. Why didn't they agree with my idea to name him 'The Meatgobbler'?"”

~ Deadpool on The Beefeater
Completely camp...Completely stupid... Completely stereotypical.

The Beefeater (Michael Morice) is yet another excuse by those anti-British bastards at DC Comics to insult the British just because the British Empire was bigger, better and lasted longer than the American Empire in practically every way.


AKA The Beef beater of london

Because DC Comics are too stubborn to give British characters more than one appearance, The Beefeater was only in Justice League #20, and even then, it was just 20-pages of absolute Brit-bashing with explosions looking like the Union Jack, Fawlty Towers as the setting and Doctor What being the only thing on television.

Because Marvel Comics already had Captain Britain, DC Comics adopted him just for the sake of making blatant attacks on Great Britain regardless of how bad the sales would be in their profit margin.

The Actual Plot and not the Rantings of an Anglophile[edit]

The Beefeater is the holder of the mighty Rod of Stewart, and the greedy American bastards Batman and Superman wanted to do anything to get their hands on it. Inviting him to join the JLA, they make the Rod of Stewart go awry as it is sensitive to American trigger-happiness, and destroys the Eiffel Tower as a result.

They blame Beefeater, as all Americans do in a crisis, and walk off, but not before The Beefeater burns them to a crisp to show them what dirty little fuckers they are.


Unlike Shining Knight, the only thing worth talking about here is that DC Comics finally did a British superhero for their collection, if only to make attacks on Great Britain that led to National Front pounding at their door the next day after the issue was released. Because of this, the character has never been used again because the British had laid waste to the offices of DC Comics and threatened to do even worse if something like that shit was ever printed again.

This article hates America, just like everyone else does. See more about Unamerica.

Consequently, this article lacks much or any redeeming intellectual value. However, even though no one smarter than a doorknob has contributed significantly to this article, it still contains more truth than you may be able to handle.

See Also[edit]

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