The Box Ghost

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The Box Ghost
File:Boxghost3.jpg
Date of birth: BEWARE!
Place of birth: BEWARE!
Nationality: Ghost
Occupation Box Ghost
Religion BEWARE!!

Not to be confused with The Box or Box.


Before Death[edit]

Alright, who stole my haaaaappy pills?!

The Box Ghost (1960-2000) was in life, a man by the name of John P. Robertson who worked in a box factory making boxes for everything from Christmas decorations to proton packs. John was very dedicated to his work and over the years, he developed a very unusual if not creepy obsession with boxes and at the same time he also developed a hatred of anything cylindrical. John died in late 2000 at age 40 in a bizzare box related accident while trying to diffuse a bomb that a sleeper agent had placed in one of the completed boxes. He was burried in a small cemetary that turned out to be haunted. Because of this, his spirit was never at peace and so rose from the grave as a ghost. Because of his love for boxes in life, he scoured the world, collecting boxes wherever he could find them and trying to scare people in a comical way. John also began to call hinself "The Box Ghost", a name that in 4 years (unknown to him) would be known throughout the US by both ghosts, ghost hybrids, and Parapsychologists alike.


Afterlife[edit]

“Bite my fat ectoplasmic ass!”

What this disembodied lunatic can't get enough of.

After dying, the Box Ghost spent his entire afterlife collecting useless cardboard boxes, trying to scare people, and just be plain annoying to others. So far his 2 geatest rivals have been the Ghostbusters and Danny Phantom. The Box Ghost loves nothing more than stirring up trouble to cause chaos for the living. Some paraphsycologists speculate though, that the Box ghost just causes trouble because he wasn't very social in life and just wants some social interaction. Although he is not really evil, New York authorities have linked The Box Ghost to nearly every haunting in the city reguardless of the fact that most of the ghosts seen at the sight of these hauntings are 10 times scarrier and when The Box Ghost causes panic, all he does is appear, identify himself("I am The Box Ghost!"), attack people by throwing boxes containing underwear and stale chocolate bars, yell "Beware!", and disappear. On a side note, The Box Ghost has an ongoing obsession with The Box. He has also been accused of, but never charged with the deaths of most of the people who stepped foot in the Ammityville Horror-house. The Box Ghost's current residence is unknown, but there is some speculation that he is living in the New York city dump where boxes are plentiful. These speculations however, have been made by people who don't think outside the box as well as overzealous fans of the Ghostbusters and Danny Phantom doccumentaries who worship The Box Ghost. He is also known as "Boxus", the god of all boxes, crates, containers(but not the Ghostbusters' ghost trap), etc.

Facts[edit]

There are many things you should know about the Box Ghost before you try to seek him out or talk to him(especially priests and exorcists). These things include, but are not limited to the fact that:

The Box Ghost after his last visit to South Park.

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  • He fucking hates the Ghostbusters
  • The Box Ghost is known to frequently make visits to South Park.
  • If you call him "Crate Creep" or "Cardboard-container Spirit", he will become enraged and may try to Fucking Kill™ you like Ballmer does it!
  • He is mostly harmless and cowardly except when he is enraged(see above).
  • You will most likely find him in a box, crate, etc.
  • He is believed to be a pastafarian.
  • In life, he was a member of The Max Weinberg Seven(then known as the Max Weinberg Eight). The instruments he played were nothing more than ordinary boxes. He was fired by Conan O'Brien for attempting to kill Conan's pet, the Masturbating Bear who tryed to Maul him to death.
  • The Box Ghost suffers from Inflated Ego Syndrome.
  • He may be related to Jim Belushi. (There is a strong family resemblence)
  • The Box Ghost may be the only person capable of beating someone using a B.O.X.

Other Box Ghosts[edit]

The Box Ghost himself is not the only "Box Ghost" in existance, there are others similar to him with some differences. Over the years, several box ghosts have been discovered, each more bizzare and socially awkward than the last.

The Xbox Ghost[edit]

Jack's photo of the dreaded Xbox ghost

The Xbox Ghost (Also known to some as "The Demon Spawn of Microsoft") is a ghost of the "Box Ghost" variety. First surfacing in 2003, this entity is well known for posessing Xbox gaming systems and causing them to malfunction. The ghost's current record of damaged Xboxes is at 2500 and rising. While the Xbox ghost appears to be only one ghost causing damage, it has been speculated by some paranormal investigators that the Xbox Ghost is more than one entity. This claim, made by parapsycologist/ghost hunter Jack Fenton who had his Xbox destroyed by the Xbox Ghost, was based on a photo he took of his Xbox being attacked by the ghost. The photograph seems to show several spirits leaving he game system at one time. However, after being analyzed by veteran ghostbuster Egon Spengler, it was revealed that the Xbox Ghost mearly has the ability to split itself into smaller units. However, despite Dr. Spengler's conclusion, some still believe that the Xbox Ghost is more than one entity.

TV/Movie Career[edit]

For a short time, the Box Ghost pursued a movie career and was hired by many movie studios, some out of fear and others because they wanted an authentic-looking ghost for their movies. The Box Ghost appeared in many hit ghost/supernatural related movies. He was also a supporting Character in Butch Hartman's doccumentary series about the Ghostbuster who was half-ghost himself, Danny Phantom. In Ghostbusters, he makes a very brief cameo in the montage scene where all the ghosts are released from the ghostbusters' headquarters as the ghost that laughs while coming out of a subway enterance (he had to lose some weight for the part). In Ghostbusters 2, in the courtroom scene where the ghostbusters are battling the ghosts of the Scoleri Brothers, the Box Ghost was the fat one (he had to put on a lot of makeup to look really scary though). He also starred in the Ghost Channel's 2001 hit TV show Ghost Prison which became very popular with the ghost/paraphsycologist demographic. In 2002, the Box Ghost left the movie business and moved on to other things- mainly making feeble attempts to scare the shit out of Columbia Pictures executives for rejecting Ghostbusters 3 and causing him to lose his chance at becoming more famouse than Casper.

Filmography[edit]

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UnQuotable: The Box Ghost[edit]

“I am The Box Ghost”

~ The Box Ghost on stuff

“I am The Box Ghost”

~ The Box Ghost on Repetition

File:Boxghost.jpg

“I am The Box Ghost”

~ The Box Ghost, but this time harder on stuff

“I AM THE FUCKING GOD DAMN SON OF A FUCKING MOTHER'S ASS BITCHING BOX FUCKING GOD DAMN GHOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

~ The Box Ghost on trying to get Helen Keller to understand things.

“I like boxes.”

~ The Box Ghost on his personal favorites.

“Boxes are cool!”

~ The Box Ghost on Stuff he likes

“GHOSTBUSTERS!? FUCK NO PLEASE DON'T DO THIS I'll DO ANYTHING PLEASE ANYTHING AT ALL JUST PLEASE DON'T CALL THE GHOSTBUSTERS PLEEASEE I'M BEEEGGGGINNNNG YOU PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME! WHAT DO YOU GET OUT OF IT PLEASE NO DON'T DO THIS PLEASE STOP IT NOW! THE GHOSTBUSTERS WILL KILL ME STOPPIT PLEASE JUST KILLEM NOW PLEASE DON'T CALL THEM OVER! I'M NOT DONE LIVING YET! I AM THE BOOOOOOOOOOOOX GHOOOOOOOOOOOOST!1PLEASE DON'T DO IT! FUCKSHITDAMNHELL! ”

“Beware my all powerful boxes of dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!1”

~ The Box Ghost on crap

“BEWARE!”

~ The Box Ghost on the above statement.

“BEWARE!”

~ The Box Ghost on Pluto

“BEWARE!”

~ The Box Ghost on Cheese

“BEWARE!”

~ The Box Ghost on You

“BEWARE!”

~ The Box Ghost on E. Coli

See Also[edit]