The Church of the Heavenly Wood
Founded in 1996 by Reverend Steve Galindo to celebrate the divine film maker and our savior Ed Wood. Woodism is similar on many levels to Christianity, except instead of a prophet who was nailed to a cross two thousand years ago, they have a transvestite director who drank himself to death not even thirty years ago.
The truth is:
- The Church of the Heavenly Wood was founded in 1996 by Reverend Steve Galindo
- Reverend Steve Galindo is married and has at least two children who is being raised by the Woodian life style
- The Church of the Heavenly Wood has a website, which upon visiting you will get a java script that says "To answer you question, yes we're serious!"
- The Church of the Heavenly Wood's most important holiday is Woodmas on October 10, which celebrates he birthday of Ed Wood
- They are right, and you are stupid for not seeing it
- The Church of the Heavenly Wood is constantly growing and evolving, for Ed Wood is still speaking
- Reverend Steve Galindo, founder of The Church of the Heavenly Wood is a 7.2 on the Hot Scale
- Any form of having the phrase "Ed Wood Saves" on your body is a good thing, this includes but is not limited to, tattoos and thongs
- That Ed Wood is not the worst film maker of all time, as most would have you believe
- That Ed Wood does save
- That "Ed Wood can bring happiness and peace to those unmoved by the selective, elitist words of Buddah, Christ, Moses and others" (direct quote)
- That doom is oh so gloomy, and gloom is oh so doomy