The Cruise

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Proper cruising equipment.

"The Cruise" is a religious ritual celebrated by, and shared by the Sociolontological sects named the Stoners and Alcoholics. This religious rite dates back to 1979 when Harrison Ford invented the transportation device called the Ford Pinto. It was arranged when the heads of the Sociolontological Chapel were sitting around drinking ice-cold Miller Genuine Draft stopped for a minute and proclaimed "man, I'm fuckin' bored, dude."


"The Cruise" is a religious rite that acts as a sacrificial ritual to offer the Lord Zarkoska an offering of primo marijuana, and ice-cold beer through self ingestion, and also the burnt fumes of fossil fuels flowing through the engine of a Totally SWEET 1979 Pontiac Trans-Am.

Tools Required For the Ceremony[edit]

  • TOTALLY Dank Weed
  • Late 70s/80s American Muscle Car, with moderate rust
  • Cassette Deck
  • Motley Crüe/Zeppelin tapes
  • Ice-cold beer (minimum one 6-pack per passenger)
  • Recently the church has relented and now include the use paintball guns as an acceptable way to get your cruise on for the lord, provided of course that said user is sufficiently tanked.