The First Catholic Civil War

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The Confederate Catholics in Spain

The First Catholic Civil War was perhaps the best guarded secret of modern times, being revealed by a whistle blower of the Psuedo-Terrorist organization Time-Traveling French (TTF). At this point in our timeline, his identity is unknown, but uses the psuedonym "Deep Throat". The First Catholic Civil War is the only known medieval conflict to have escalated beyond

Reasons for the War[edit]

Despite historical accounts, during the peak of the Catholic Church in medieval Europe, there was a desperate internal power struggle occuring. The conflict began when church officials in Rome first came in contact with TTF agents. The agents offered automatic weapons and knowledge of the future in exchange for a promise to fuck up medieval Europe as much as possible. Factions emerged within the Church. They became known for colors of polka dotted ankle bracelets they wore to identify themselves with one another.


Chartruesians wore chartruese ankle bracelets. The color symbolized the blood of the TTF agents, which oddly contained no traces of the color when diluted in Holy Water. The Chartruesians took this as a sign that the agents were pagan Gods sent to blow their cover by disproving the existence of Christ. Their leader, Sir Alexander Graham Bell, was executed. This is the only known case of the TTF interfering so overtly with the past in their crusade for interference in our timeline. It is feared that such boldness is a sign that we may be powerless to stop the TTF from making history hilarious.