The Fish Kiss

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“We're so doing it Saturday if we go out.”

~ Ted Bunion (co-creator of the Fish Kiss)
Diagram drawn by co-creator Ted Bunion. (2008)


History[edit]

The Fish Kiss was allegely "created" by Ted Bunion and Teri Goldbottom, although everyone knows that the first one happened on the Ark, because Noah didn't have a fish tank for them. The couple died within minutes in each others' fins.

Recently, while using Skype, Teri allegedly made a face that greatly resembled a fish which was met by mirth of the Ted, a known Hentai addict and hater of all Asian People. As can be seen in the documentation below, he then suggested a kiss between them be started with them both making said face.

(documentation)

16/03/2008 10:34:40 PM Ted Bunion- bored out of my mind Teri omg Teri!

16/03/2008 10:34:43 PM Ted Bunion- bored out of my mind Teri we could make a new kiss! pucker up...like this...

16/03/2008 10:34:44 PM Ted Bunion- bored out of my mind Teri oh yay! fish kiss!

16/03/2008 10:34:46 PM Ted Bunion- bored out of my mind Teri =DDD

16/03/2008 10:35:00 PM Ted Bunion- bored out of my mind Teri it's genius. we'll be like, on WIKIPEDIA

16/03/2008 10:35:02 PM Teri Ted Bunion- bored out of my mind ahahahaha


The initial response of the girlfriend was that this was the lamest idea ever, and she inwardly decided never to perform the fish kiss if at all possible, especially in the bleachers at a local pseudo-quidditch match. "Ahahahaha" was typed (as seen above) with the intention of generating the response desired from Nick so the subject could be quickly and inconspicuously changed.

On 22/03/2008, the first intentional fish kiss was carefully executed and photographed for reasons unknown. At this point, historians agree it must be assumed that both individuals were under heavy influence of coughbeingnoobscough.

With no hands. An advanced technique. Eye-crossing is not necessary to to fish kiss.

Procedure[edit]

Step 1: Acquire a partner.

Step 2: Place hands on cheeks.

Step 3: Pull cheek fat forward towards your mouth. (High self-esteem or no dignity may be necessary to complete this step.)

Step 4: Kiss your partner while maintaining the face. Uninterrupted eye contact increases fishy sensations (unless both kissers are female, in which case they should just resort to passionate French kissing).

Review[edit]

“If you actually manage to do it without bursting out laughing and spitting all over each other's faces... you'll be disappointed because it's honestly pretty unpleasant..”


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