The Game Of Life

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“I've already beaten it”

~ AAA on life
If you Suck at The Game of Life, You Suck at Life.

Not be confused with Life (video game) which is published by Sony while The Game of Life is a Nintendo property, and therefore much less expensive and let's admit it, more fun.

A Brief Walkthrough of the Game of Life[edit]

In order for a new player account to be created, two veteran players must get together and cooperate in a series of intruiging rythym based minigames after which a new player is spawned onto the server. The starting area is generally a Hospital of some sort, but this may vary.

At conception a random realm, is chosen for the new player, lucky players will start out somewhere rich or alternately may end up being born in a poor realm. Don't worry if you are born in a poor server. you can always ask a higher level player to escort you onto the ships that carry large numbers of players from these poorer realms to richer realms- upon landing, you may have to play a stealth section involving the realm GMs.

At lower levels you should generally start to grind levels on smaller children and defenseless animals, do not begin PvP at this point or you may end up being arrested by the GMs. Be very wary of wandering around unguarded by nearby high level players as you may come across foes higher level than you in locations such as dark alleys and public parking lots, you should be especially wary of attack of you have been allocated a female character as attackers may transfer status ailments during battle.

At about lvl 10 you are able to find the glourious kingdom of tv. Many high levels stay in this kingdom most there lives but some do escape. This unfortunatly is not real life and those who are super heroes in this kingdom, are normally kinda lame in the kingdoms that people give a s**t about.

Once you reach around Lvl 20. you should take up a skill, hopefully one that makes you large amounts of money without much effort, though you don't generally get these skills out of the bag and much tedious grinding is needed to work towards them, eventually you can buy your Uber Mount and show it off to everyone while creating as many new accounts as you can with other players with a high Charisma stat, preferably one of the opposite sex, the admin will be the judge of that.

If you feel confident in your Str+, Con+, Agi+ and accuracy stats, you can opt for PvP by joining a dedicated PvP Clan and move to a PvP centric realm in order to kill other players without being reprimanded by the GM's, hell you'll actually be rewarded, though danger is rife and players may gank, camp and hax you without reprimand from the admin, because he's a lazy dick who never listens to anyone.

Popular PvP realms include The Middle East, Most of Africa, Communist realms and of course Sparta.

If you should die, and it is very important not to let this happen, as there is no save system, you may either be respawned on the Heaven server (if you win), or Hell server (if you lose), depending on your total reputation points, though if you follow certain religons you may be respawned as a brand new player character and had better really enjoy this game.

The Rules[edit]

The Game of Life is the first game ever created by Man. It only has two rules:

  1. The game starts when you are born
  2. The game ends when you are dead
  3. No redos!!!!

The Admin[edit]

It is widely held that the admin is a jerk. He commands ultimate power over the world server, but has completely neglected to use it in any direct or tangible way for centuries. Despite this, whining players constantly send him Private messages asking him to fix his crap up.

At one point the Admin decided to create an clone so that he could find out what it was like to be a regular player, though he often was observed using hax, performing such tasks as walking on water and spawning large numbers of food items. The Admin made a big mistake and went over to the Middle East, formed a clan with 12 other people and tried to get everyone to stop PvPing in the region, as it was making things difficult for n00bs but he was swiftly owned by higher level players. Before going back to his main, the Admin changed the values of anyone with negative rep points to 0. His alternate account is currently active on the Heaven server, though he was reported to have used hax soon after his initial death in order to return to the world server and chat with his clan.

Nowadays the Admin spends most of his time sitting around waiting until the right time to reboot the server.

The score card[edit]

  • Being born - 30 points
  • Being a Test Tube Baby - 500 points
  • Asking what his power level is - over 9000 points.
  • Being born as a spawn of Satan - 666 points + 666 points for everyone you kill
  • Having Fun- 10 points
  • Going on Tv - 10000 points
  • Going on Loose Women - -10000 points
  • Killing everyone in the world - Your probably the Devil
  • Being super morbidly obese - 1 quadrillion points.+ 10 points for every stone over the definition of super morbidly obese
  • Eating chicken- 10 points
  • Eating other foods- 5 points
  • Eating Oreos- 10 points
  • Eating Oreos the politically correct way- 200 points
  • Eating sushi- 9876 points
  • Being eaten- game over
  • Being retarded- Times your score by 2 for every year you live
  • Using the internet- 500 points
  • Being on myspace- 501 points
  • Being Kerry king - 20 billion points
  • Using uncyclopedia.org- 1000 points
  • Being white - 10 points
  • being catholic-Bend over
  • Being yellow - -10 points
  • Being black - 10 points
  • Being purple - 5000 points
  • Being any other color - 5 points
  • Beating up cool kids- 25 points
  • Beating up loser kids- 50 points
  • Beating up freshmen- 75 points
  • Beating up seniors as a freshman - 125 points
  • Beating up everyone in site- Corresponding of the above 4 times 6 (Loser kid will make 300 points)
  • Getting beat up- minus 50 points
  • Getting Revenge on the person- 150 points
  • Smoking- Lose points over a prolonged period.
  • Smoking weed- 420 points
  • Sweeping the floor- 1674 points
  • Being a Christian- 666 points
  • Being male- 30 points
  • Playing music- 50 points
  • Singing rap- -5000 points (although rapping is not singing, but rather a form of talking)
  • Playing guitar - 709 points
  • Playing Bass - 100 points and gain the ability to flirt with any girl of your choosing
  • Owning a Burberry cap - -789123456
  • Being female- 30 points
  • Getting a sex change to become female- 100 points
  • Drinking soda- 10 points
  • Being in a band- 50 points
  • Being in a raper- -10000 points
  • Being a noob who says "being in a raper" - -30 points
  • Being a noob who says "*Being a n00b who says "being in a raper"" - -34points
  • Drinking diet soda- minus 10 calories/points
  • Being a hermaphrodite- 9097 points
  • Drinking- you got liver problems go back three spaces or to the hospital
  • Going to the hospital- minus 400 points and a few years
  • Never going to a hospital by the end of the game- 401 points
  • b3ing 1337- 1337 p0i47'5
  • b3ing 00b3r 1337 - 00b3r 1337 h4x p0i347'5
  • Cleaing your room- 30 points
  • Cleaing your room for the ladies- 60 points
  • Buying a Vote For Pedro T-shirt - 625 points
  • Being a person who says potaatoe instead of potatoe - minus life and lose a turn
  • Being a playa- 700 points
  • Getting laid- 123456789 points
  • Being a virgin- divide your score by 2 for every day your a virgin starting the day you turn 16
  • Loseing virginity- move on to level 2
  • Taking someones virginity - 40000 points move on to level 3
  • Any other forms of sexual activty 200 points for each orgasm (you and your partner)
  • Masturbation- Minus all your points times how many times you did (Also- See being a loser)
  • AAAA-AAA AAAAAA
  • Being a fool pitied by Mr. T - Lose all gained points
  • bing your mom- -500000000 points
  • being your dad- 34567 points
  • being you-minus 300 million points
  • being Oscar Wilde- instant win...
  • Being Mr. T - Instant win
  • 010001010110-1000 101001
  • being a ninja- 300 points for learning and 500 points for each kill, - 100 points if your name is Naruto
  • being that guy- 345677 points
  • having sex with a lesbian - 1 million points
  • having a threesome with 2 lesbians- 1 billion points
  • Adding more to this list- 30 million points
  • Building up a resistance to large amounts of Wild Turkey Bourbon - 500 points if you're a colonel, otherwise minus 21
  • Being a breeder with an IQ of less than 75- -60 points
  • Using wikipedia- minus 6.5454 x 10^45
  • Being re-born- UBER points for you !!!
  • Being turkey slapped by your dad...-10 points
  • Turkey slapping your dad back= Redeem lost points!
  • Taking a shit on the toilet backwards=ULTIMATE SKID MARKS??...go try it.?=1337 points
  • Shooting Obama/Sand Ninja in the face with a 12 gauge shotgun - Instant Win
  • Gettin 95% or above on welcome to the jungle on guitar hero- 1 million points
  • Doing so on easy, medium or hard -1000 points
  • Kill a chav - 5 million points
  • Becoming a Chav - Minus all points
  • Becoming a Chav then killing yourself for being a chav- 6 million points
  • Bottle my chemical romance - 2 million
  • having z cup boobs - 12345678910 points
  • Get over 10,000 gamerscore on Xbox 360 - Minus all points
  • Fuck yourself - Multiply your score by 2
  • Forcing someone else to fuck themselves - Take their scroe and add it to your score
  • Shouting "Eat Me" at inappropriate moments - 100 points
  • Shouting "Eat Me Raw" at inappropriate moments - 1000 points
  • playing warhammer marked as a loser for life and lose all earnable points(unable to be removed from loserhood, unless you sell them onto someone, then buying the real imperium in which case you regain these points)
  • having god powers- who cares? you own!
  • Eating Bacon - minus bacon unless you have more if thats the case then plus 8124654930 points
  • Buy a power rangers action figure = 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 points.
  • Choosing Alliance on World of Warcraft - +rep with n00bz -rep with l33t
  • Eating yellow snow - minus 300k points, if it's your creation +300k points
  • Performing a cleveland steamer and having a golden shower at the same time - instant win
  • Playing world of World of Warcraft - 10billion points
  • Dancing to the scatman - pipaparapow!
  • Doing the something the scatman can do - skibbiiyabbadoobeedoo
  • Playing TF2 - Dosn't really do anything really, drains -1 point a second for every second you play
  • Being sniper in TF2 - -141
  • Killing sniper as pyro - +131
  • Being Pyro - +100, +250 if your a girl, +860 if your a hermaphrodite
  • Argueing about the Pyros gender - -150
  • Being THE PYRO in real life - -1200 points if you've just dressed up as him, however, mulitply score 111190001410 if you carry a flame thrower and talk like him, set people on fire, and then do the pyros version of the scatman.
  • Being a fucktard - Minus 934819 points
  • Making an Alternate account - Are you the admin? +100 points
  • PMing the admin - -1 point for every pointless message, +0.000000001 point for every pointful message, 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 if you make him go ROFL!
  • Playing Guitar Hero 3 and actually beating every song - You have no life... -99999999999 points
  • Killing the GMs BEFORE they shoot you - Minus 1000000 points
  • Killing the GMs AFTER they shot you and you got hit - HACKER (if your not, then 89525415618451 points for you!)
  • Breathing - -1 point for every second you breath
  • Not Breathing - 100 points for every minute! 0.0005 points for every second.
  • If you are AAA - YOU BEAT THE FUCKING GAME! +9999999999 * 4827123908573489578920^4 + 234918e+18
  • If you use Winblows - -900,000 points + BSoD
  • If you use apple - -900,000,000 points
  • If you use Lunix - -1337 points
  • If you use FreeBSD - 666 + 666e+666 points
  • If you enjoy windows - you lose
  • If you enjoy wikipedia.org - 3p1c ph417 n00bzz
  • Using uncyclopedia.org instead of wikipedia for all your research - 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 bajillion points + 20 majilion more points for everytime you visit it. =D
  • being emo - 10
  • secretely doing it in bed with ur friends mum (salehs mum)- 200 points for every ejaculation
  • being anerexic - -10 points
  • being called beef - 600 points
  • being called jordan cooper - lol instant lose
  • Achieving World Domination - instant 2nd place (Chuck Norris has 1st)
  • eating a major communist like Hitler or fidel castro
  • reading this far down the list- lose all points, what kept you going???
  • Attempting an assault on wikipedia HQ- +123456789 points + 3p1c 1337 WIN!
  • Being a milkman- 619 points for every milk bottle you deliver
  • dressing up as your history teacher (or Aldo) for halloween- +666666666 points + LOLZ!
  • Finding your AP classe's tests online- WIN! +1337 bajilionz
  • being a white rapper- -761239
  • killing yourself- instant Finish
  • trying to go and ski on the hindu kush- +buddha's love and 3127979` points
  • reading twilight - -You get negative infinity points and die
  • Getting kicked by chuck Norris-- +24873789358937595893649649862 and death

Endgame[edit]

You die, possibly in a humorous or compromising position. And your dog leaves you. Become a teacher-lose all points!! If you have less than 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 points, you'll die alone!!

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