The Go! Show

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“The Go! Show taught me how to grow marijuana secretly in my backyard for my mummy's birthday. When I presented the results, the whole family was pleased and wanted to know how I did it.”

~ Little Johnny Rotten

The Go! Show is a New Zealand children's porn show which features three over-ecstatic young adults on uppers attempting to teach the New Zealand youth about how to grow their own marijuana.

The Go Show Members[edit]

The Go! Show has three members. The male of the group's name is Okatai. Okatai rarely closes his eyes unless he passes out from ten alcoholic beverages too many during the show. The other two hosts tend to make excuses about him 'falling asleep' and showing you how you should hold your hand under your head while you sleep. He doesn't even make an attempt to look sober.

The other two hosts consist of a midget with a child's voice and a pudgy blonde lady who no one bothers to learn the name of. The short woman is clearly high twenty-four-seven and can not sit still, unless she too, passes out when Okatai gets her drunk and begins to strip her down and put her in ridiculous costumes which are possible to be that of his sexual desires. The blonde lady bears no relevance to the show at this point.

Okatai - A maori man who looks about 15 years old who appears to drink rather large amounts of alcohol each day. He likes to bum Jessica Alba with his cellular phone on his day off.

Midget lady - This woman is insane. She often jumps about banging her head into phallic-shaped objects. People have come to believe she is actually a hardcore mosher with symptoms of obsession

Tubby Pudgy Lady - This she-man displays many signs of being a hooker. She tends to grind against Okatai and Midget Lady. It is funny to watch.

Where the Go! Show Sprouted From[edit]

The Go! Show was created in 2005 or 2006 by a handful of bored stoners who had used up all their tinny one morning when they came up with the idea of a show that teaches children how to cultivate and manage their own drugs.

The stoners, who's brain cells were, by now well gone decided that they had to have their younger friends who were in university as hosts. The younger friends, who at that time were lighting up a joint over a typical Kiwi campfire (Kiwi campfires consist of barrels, burning cars, drunken fools and AC/DC on the radio) agreed to this master scheme and thus, part of the show was formed.

On Monday, with a mighty hangover and blood-shot eyes, the young employees marched willingly into the offices of the Go! Show which, at that time was called The Children's Guide To Cultivating Pot, oi and sat down in front of their colleagues. The directors and producers who are rumoured to be named Bruce, Zed and Bob handed the hosts their scripts and sent them straight into the filming studio to begin the first episode. They ended up filming fifty episodes and the hosts didn't have to go back to work for a few more weeks. The Maori host ran around screaming "GO GO GO!!!" for whatever reason and (possibly) Bob decided that this was the perfect name for the show. However, he got lazy and only wrote down one "go" and one exclamation mrk fuck.


The Go! Show is aired too many times a week. It has replaced religious programmes on channel 2 in the mornings and also plagues your t.v at night. On the weekends you can not avoid it as you turn on your t.v and they are all lighting up their joints for the episode.


Children who are fortunate enough to get an early start in life will learn before their father or older brother ever did. Some children learn from the age of two how to grow marijuana and that hydroponics tend to help. Children can also learn from these three people that when someone passes out, they should be fine as it is within New Zealand culture to pass out so easily over a few beers over the BBQ.

The Go! Show also teaches children how to use their drugs to their best advantage. If they wish to hide their drugs from their parents, they can crush them up and make them into 'sand pictures' and show them off to their parents who really couldn't give a shit about their child's artwork.

Fashion Statements[edit]

The Go! Show gives children a wonderful insight into fashion in today's society.

Okatai teaches children that they should wear fifty layers on a hot summer's day and perhaps even wear the odd drug pusher outfit they find in the back of their father's wardrobe.

The pudgy blonde woman teaches the kids that they should never wear a t-shirt that is too baggy for them if they are fat and that their t-shirts should show off three quarters of their stomachs.

Special Guest Celebrities[edit]

When the children are smoking their dope, they can often hallucinate and see famous people. Here is a list.

Elton John
Anne Hesh
Dylan Moran
Old Man River
Denzel Washington
Samuel L Jackson
Sam Neil
Russel Crowe

Precautions and Safety[edit]

It has been said that children who watch this show automatically lose brain cells, blow up, chew off their feet and even become convinced that George Michael has raped them. To avoid this happening, turn off your television. If this is near impossible, fashion a hat out of foil and pray the aliens won't come.


The Go! Show is made of AIDS and Racism and if parents wish to curse their children with such a show, then they should be locked up.