The King of Queens

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After King Arthur (Jerry Stiller) retired, he did not want his daughter, Princess Carrie (Leah Remini), to be crowned Queen, so he put his crown upon Doug's head one day and said, "Hear ye! Hear ye! From this day forward, Douglas Heffernan shall hereby be crowned... The King of Queens!!"

Unlike King Arthur's uptight, angry and grumpy demeanor, King Douglas was very laid-back and extremely lazy. Surprisingly, he managed to keep his job at IPS even after all the trouble he got into. He had destroyed packages, planted bombs in packages, and even threatened to slaughter his boss for no good reason. Still, he kept his job like nothing ever happened.

After being crowned King, Doug bitterly quits his job at IPS and hires former co-worker Deacon Palmer of Nottingham (Played by Victor "Robin" Williams) to be his royal adviser. He also hires a third friend named Spence (Played by Patton Oswalt) to be the royal jester.


King Arthur in happier times.
  • King Douglas Heffernan -- Played by Kevin James -- The King of Queens. Very lazy and unworthy of his crown. 34 years old.
  • Princess Carrie Spooner -- Played by Leah Remini -- The Princess of Queens. 32 years old. Smarter than her husband.
  • King Arthur Spooner -- Played by Jerry Stiller -- Legendary King of Queens, now retired and very grumpy. You don't want to make him angry! 75 years old.
  • Deacon Palmer of Nottingham -- Played by Victor Williams -- Best friend of King Douglas. Former IPS employee; currently employed as Doug's royal adviser. 33 years old. Married with two children.
  • Spence -- Played by Patton Oswalt -- Doug's friend and royal jester. Resident nerd. Best friend of Lou Ferrigno. Secretly gay, which infuriates Doug.
  • Danny Heffernan -- Played by Evil Kevin James -- Doug's evil twin, who often switches places with Doug to make him look bad. Spence's secret lover. Best friends with Christopher Lee.

Notable episodes[edit]

  • "Pilot"
  • "Arthur Moves Out"
  • "Arthur Moves Back In"
  • "Aw, Who Cares About Arthur?"
  • "Doug craves anal with Carrie"
  • "Doug Attempts to Watch the Game, But Has to Babysit Deacon's Kids, and Deacon Doesn't Have Cable"
  • "King Doug's Lonely Hearts Club Band"
  • "The White Episode"
  • "Abbey Road"
  • "Deacon Jumps the Shark"
  • "Doug Meets Caesar"
  • "Spence vs. Michael Myers"
  • "Arthur vs. Dracula"
  • "Kramer vs. Kramer"
  • "Roe vs. Wade"
  • "Plessy vs. Ferguson"
  • "Hitler vs. Godzilla
  • "Rolf Harris vs. John Madden
  • "The Queen of Queens" -- Doug moonlights as a drag queen to pay the bills.
  • "Doug Executes Spence"
  • "Let It Be"

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The King of Queens is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.