Redirected from "Barack Obama"
“A great inspiration to all!!”
“The best candidate to ever grace the existence of the presidential ballot since ever!”
“Anyone can be the U.S. president. But it really takes a black man to appeal to the idiots.”
The Obammasiah (a.k.a: Barack Obama) is a false diety created by the Democrat Institute of Communist Knifing Schedules (DICKS) to veer voters from their ultimate plan of multi-culture staples in reality and the acceptance of stereotypes.
History of the Obamassiah
When the DICKS was created on April 3rd, 1922, the DICKS needed a scapegoat for how they enlisted so many white presidents of the U.S through brain control. This lead to the 59-year-long production of a super black communist leader that would appeal to the minds of any idiot or would-be communist of America. Half-machine, half-communist, 0% White, this 497.24B dollar project cost the lives of many Soviet scientists and Jew-herders. When the day came, August 4th, 1961, they rocketed him through a Sovet escape pod to Hawaii, where it was marked the "official" birthplace of the Obamassiah. Thought to be born from a crazed spear-destroyer, Barack Obama Sr., and a hinklebothom-induced rural-developer, Ann Dunham, the cyborg messiah kept the "origin" for hiding its true birthplace. While hiding in his secret laboratory lair, he developed the AIDS virus and coconut pineapples.
After years spent in hiding in Hawaii, the Obamassiah was sent to do his job: Take over the world. The first phase of this operation was to instill bull-shit thinking into real government bills: by being a member of Congress. At first, the administrators did not accept him because of his third ankle, but were later convinced by the massacre of the state of Illinois by flame-injections. Once in a small seat of power, on September 11th, 2001, he followed the written orders of former Mother Russia to jettison two planes into the World Trade Center, in order to cause a distraction. Little known to the soon-to-be commissar, Russia was seized by the chiken brigades of Terebithia led by Colonel Sanders and Huckleberry Fin, in an attempt to seize Russia's recipe for fried chicken (See The Great Battle of the Chicken-Schultz Brigade). Despised at Russia of the failed capture of America at their weakest time, the Obamassiah returned to the menial work of a member of the Senate, until the year of 2007. Using his little power to a great advantage, he used his built-in mind-melter ray to appeal to the idiots of America.
Classifications of Supporters
There are three types of the Obamassiah's supporters:
Common Black Dude
This is an example of a brainwashed Obamassiah subject. The following attributes and stereotypes include:
- Wears loose clothes
- Feeling important by racial association
- The love of grape drink
- The interest in the destruction of the English language ("Yo", and "Whazzup")
- The ability to grow an abnormally large penis through agricultural means
- The obssession of money
- Liking of the 40oz beer
- The creators of the monotinous talk-singing currently known as rap
Another classification of the Obamassiah supporter is:
Bred to feel guilty about stuff that they didn't do, these gulible idiots are willing to vote for anyone that's not white or a man, followed by feelings of guilt. It can vary between any gender. The following attributes include:
- Drooling through every orafice of the body uncontrollably
- Easily maniplative to jump on the bandwagon of politics
- Cannot jump
- Leave the politics to the old guy
- Plays guitar
- Likes fancy cheeses
- Make normal food into disgusting piles of bacon-oriented garbage
- Talk slowly to make sure you're getting the point lllllllllliiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeee ttttttthhhhhhiiiiiiiiiissssssss
The last classification of the Obamassiah supporters include:
The communist can vary between gender and race, but it all trickles down to the Rhthonpol theory: Anyone who thought V.I. Lenin was an O.K. guy is a socialite/ communist bastard. As you may know already, Arthur Q. Rhthonpol attended various DICKS meetings in the late 50's. The average communist will take a liking to Stalin and are born to follow the Obamassiah's every command. The following attributes include:
- The inventors of crappy "Soviet Russia" jokes
- Making a crappy car
- Being guilible enough to build a McDonalds in Moscow (the capital)
- Agreeing with everything the Obamassiah says and does
- Has a choir of baritones and no falsettos
Ways to Kill the Obamassiah
The Obamassiah was created with certain black attributes that allow him to be susceptable to fried chicken, fat white chicks, and the ever-powerful grape drink. You can find these products in your local tavern above the fish food. Use these as bait. Many Russians have tried to detain him in federal prisons, but have failed. When the Obamassiah goes to get raped, he's the one giving the rape towards the end. Please, from the words of the author and the concerned minority, try to stop the Obamassiah at all costs.