The Scottish Nazi Party

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“Oh, if only we had them in England”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Scottish Nazi Party

The Scottish Nazi Party, often abbreviated to the SNP is a Scottish Political Party, which pre-dates the 'Other SNPs' (Scottish Nihilism Party and Scottish Ned Party) - who have been less successful. They are chiefly responsible with returning to a pure race Scotland.

History and Policies[edit]

Warning! The Fascist Party of Scotland (formerly the SNP) supports parts of this article! Do not read if offended by the anti-English words of Angus McHitler!

Formed as a breakaway from the Scottish Ned Party, the Nazis have been making strides in recent elections and are thoroughly shaping the political landscape of the country. Following an argument with Scottish Bullshitting Champion, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown created and nurtured his own vision of Scotland's future - The Scottish Labour Party. In the 2007 General Election, the party contested the seats of Dundee West, Dundee East, Dundee South-East, Dundee South-South-North-East-Centre, Dundee North-South/North, Dundee North-East, Dundee North-Centre-East-North, and Dundee South-East-South.

Like her idol, the honourable and favoured Adolf Hitler, Sturgeon is mainly centred on constructing an image of superiority compared to other nations, as well as returning Scotland to it's former glory by attacking the peace-loving Republic of Czecho-Denmark and invading Poland Cumbria. If successful, every citizen will be forced at gunpoint to learn Gaelic. None of this will happen of course without considerable support for Scottish Freedom, and with the 'Other SNPs' determined to achieve the same, competition is tough. However, the Nazi's look like emerging as the largest party thanks to notable events which served to establish the Nazis, like the London Massage Parlour Putsch (below).

The Aberdeen Massage Parlour Putsch[edit]

The Aberdeen Massage Parlour inspired by the venues of Southern-Germany Peter Stringfellow was the site of a successful coup or 'putsch' in the running up to the elections. With an army of 15,000 stormtroopers (Celtic F.C. fans) Sturgeon marched into the Parlour and hoped to force her political rival, Tommy Sheridan (who, at the time, was slupping up some ho's) to concede defeat. Sheridan wished to keep the monarchy in his political plans, while Sturgeon was intent on becoming a dictator. Sturgeon's stormtroopers then opted to fire shots at the crumbling ceiling and ordered that no customer dirty old man was allowed to leave the premises (they were too drunk anyway) while Sturgeon brainwashed the terrified gentlemen losers into touting Nazi ideals within a few short sentences, thus, she had proved herself a brilliant Machiavelli.

A Scottish Ned Party member on the campaign trail

2007 Election[edit]

The election was marred by technical failure, as many as 100,000 ballot papers had been spoilt. The Scottish Nazi Party immediately blamed the 'Other SNPs' and violence spread across the streets of Glasgow as Nazi's clashed with Neds and Nihilists. The results so far had indicated a two-horse race between the 'SNP' and the 'SNP' with the 'SNP' following in a close third. The 'SIP' (Scottish Idle Party) didn't manage any votes because their supporters and contenders couldn't be bothered voting.

Government[edit]

After a recount, a system of counting machines (designed by the people who brought you the World Trade Center) were finally fixed and concluded that the SNP had clinched victory by a single seat. In order to form a government, the SNP had to piece together a coalition. Eventually choosing the SIP, talks dragged on for 3 weeks and 2 days, with the SIP opting to go against the offer, because they couldn't be arsed to do anything.

'Who farted?'

Quotes[edit]

“It is my firm belief, that by working with the SIP, our target of Independence shall come to fruition”

“If you think outside the box, then you'll realise a defeat is just a different kind of victory”

~ Jack McConnell on The Elections

See also[edit]