The Second Coming
The Second Coming is the time when Jesus Christ will come down from Heaven, and the world will end. It is also the day when there will be a battle royal, between the armies of heaven and those of Hell. Using very complex mathematics (addition, multiplication and subtraction), the date of this coming has been found!
The second cumming is slower and more relaxed than the first cumming. The lady likes it better. The Second Coming should not be confused with the second cumming when a man reaches his second sexual climax.
The Complex Mathematics
Firstly, it is decided that the Second Coming will be days after the day that one of the Devil's Sergeants, George W. Bush, became the President of the United States of America. This day shall be known as D-Day Mach I
To find the number of years D-Day Mach I, the following was done:
So therefore, it is 1417 years from D-Day Mach I.
Then we find how many months are remaining by doing the following:
So therefore, it is 1417 years and 8 months from D-Day Mach I
Then, we find how many days are remaining, by doing the following:
Now, we round this number to 29 days. This means we have found that the Second Coming will be 1417 years 8 months and 29 days after D-Day Mach I.
D-Day Mach I was 20 January 2001. 1417 years from that is 20 January 3418. 8 months from that is 20 September 3418. 29 days from that is 19 October 3418. This is the date of the Second Coming.
The Thoughts Behind The Complex Mathematics
“The Second Coming is an excellent way to prove to the world that I am not the devil. I am only one of his servants”
I had a dream. A dream where... God came along and said stuff. Then I decided. That's that. Ha ha ha.
Jesus Visa Preparations
- Since lately (this millenium) there has been some changes to the world's travel customs, can someone please advice on how we can arrange for Jesus' visa to enter New York?
- Jesus has also requested us (pardon for not introducing, we are his welcoming party) to synchronise with the Oscars, Nobel Prize, Miss Universe, The World Cup and other worldly events not to be held on the day of his coming. So who the hell can see to that?
- We shall be passing on more travel arrangements once the Hour approaches. Please watch this page. If you wish to be part of the welcoming party, please sign below.
signed: (Jude IsCarrot)
- My brain
- My dream
- Complex Maths