The Sound of One Hand Clapping

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It is a whoosh-whick kind of thing. Extend your arm where you can see or hear it. Bring your fingers down to the palm, quickly. Now, you may go mad trying to make a good phonetic for that noise. That is the art of Zen. We're convinced the Kung Fu stuff is just to put chalk on your hands so it won't make any more noise, thus self fulfilling the koan.

note: In order to properly experience this act, lotion and tissues should be nearby at all times.


Seriously...[edit]

The sound of one clapping hand is a popular euphamism among Zen Buddhists for the act of Masturbation. We told you the whole preceding part of the article, because quite frankly, you are the least popular kid on the playground, so we thought it would be funny to give you the wrong answer when you asked "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" and then laugh at you when you accepted our obviously dubious answer. Dipshit.

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