The Stooges

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Years Active 1600 B.C. to heck I dunno
Genre(s) Polka, Free form jazz, Cock rock
Label(s) Carmen Elektra Records , Colombo Rekord, I'm a Virgin Records
Members Iggy Pop (Spoons, Vacume Cleaner, Peanut Butter Jar)
James Williamson (flugal horn, lute)
Mike Watt (Bass, Who's He?)
Scott Asheston ( um.......)
Steve Mackay (Iggy's dick)
Former Members *Mily Cyrus (That was a mistake)
*Fred Figglehorn (he was good until he got kicked in the balls by Scott Ashton, then he went to Youtube)
*Demi Lovato (thought she was a man)
*Lady Gaga (breaks out laughing)
*Dave Alexander ( couldn't play his own frikin instrument)
*Gary Glitter (Why!?)
Associated Acts The Iguanas (Hence the term Iggy)
Justin Beiber (He and Ron used to mutual masterbate)
Yo Gabba Gabba (That's Dave Alexander's Fault)
The Beatles (Nope)

“ Ron plays real well, and his guitar playing is awesome”

~ David Bowie's Wife

“ Hey Hey Hey, these freaks come out to play”

“ Who are the Stooges again?”

“ Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha”

The Stooges are a band full of freaks that never could play a single note right until they were 40. Nuff said. No not really theres alot more. Basically one day Iggy Pop walked into a porn shop (like it wasn't the first time) and saw local nerd Ron Asheton polishing dildos on aisle 3. The reason people thought Asheton was a nerd was that he had big glasses. According to an interview, he said he got them from his "gram gram"(what a soft cock). The reason he had the glasses was to protect his eyes from semen while he was masterbating. So Iggy and Ron start talking and out of the blue there came the thought that they should form a band. And the rest is history that isn't really important.

History that no one has or will care about[edit]

It all started then and there in 1600 B.C. when Iggy and Ron picked a stranger on the roadside. That stranger was the villiage fool and drunk Dave Alexander. They asked him if he could play a bass and he said no. That was good since Ron couldn't play anything that required work so they became buds. All they needed was a drummer. Then Ron mentioned that his Dad's husband's son had a brother who could tap his foot. The first band meeting is a mystery to this day. But our research was shown that the caveman drawings on the walls of the New York subway showed someone getting knocked up. So that automatically meant one thing,A: that was where Barney the dino - dick and his ho did it there B: that was the first meeting. So anyway we need to fast forward to where the chaos began. The band needed a name, so Dave mentioned the name Stooges. Everyone else liked it, probably because they didn't know what the word meant. But whatever, the Stooges were born, and ITS A BOY! no.

The first thing[edit]

The Stooges made their debut on Leif Erickson Day at the Sunny Side Daycare Center in Freakonfreakistan, Michigan. They got in trouble when Iggy forced a Cambodian toddler to suck his cock and they were never allowed there again. Nuff said. So then the pioneering record label Carmen Elektra Records part of Horny Brothers Music saw the tape of the show. And they hated it. But they needed the extra money so they added them to their roster along with the Screamo band BS6.

The second thing[edit]

The group recorded their first album in Liche me Diche Studios in Hell. That was the only place they were allowed to go ever since the tapes for their first concert leaked on the the internet. It featured 8 and a half songs being: 1960um..., I Wanna Kiss Your Hog, We Will Jizz, No Fuck, Real Cool Tits, Brian, It's Not Right, and Little Sex Doll. Since they were extremely inliterate, they couldn't think of a cool name, so they came up with Stooges. It was after it was issued that they realized that was the same name of the band. Too late. They released it in Mesopatamia in 1599 B.C. where it sold 3 and a half copies. Back in those days, that was more than the Stooges could count. But the fellow Stooges were determined to go on and make another round thing. So in 1598 B.C. , after many bar fights the A & R department, they released their sophmore album, Fuckhouse. The album included the songs Down on Your Queef, Loose(With Cumming), T.V. Pie, Dirty Titty, 1960um...... AGAIN, Fuck House, and L.A. Booze. The record sold over 4 copies. That was a half more than their previous release. They thought that they were on top of their girlfriends and the world. But a day after the record was issued, Carmen Elektra gave the Stooges the boot, and they still wear it today.

The, um... What number was i on?[edit]

After many lineup and sex changes, The Stooges finally gave up on music and life. The Asheton brothers lived with their two dads while Iggy was living with his imaginary friend Bob. Things were not good until Iggy met someone that would change his life, and ultamatly, his gender again. He was in the market place smuggling banannas in the crotch section of his pants, a young transvestite by the name of Jame Williamson happened to walk by. "Dude, your crotch is big." Iggy said,"They're banannas but whatever." And then some stuff happened, and then some other stuff happened. Before long, James and Iggy were dating and music partners. To make things better, or worse, the Asheton brothers reunited with Iggy and the group reformed. They didn't need the same old name the Stooges anymore. They needed something new, fresh, and funky. James came up with the name, Iggy and the Stooges. Then name was catchy and no one even knew it added one word to the original name. But whatever, the Stooges were rolling again.

Forget It[edit]

The Stooges were unsigned, thankfully, but that all changed when a young girl by the name of David Bowie saw Iggy and the Stooges one night opening for the Wiggles. Bowie fell in love with all the boys and James. They worked stuff out over a four way that night with Ron taking the ass, Iggy taking the front, Scott taking the sucking, and James sitting there laughing. In the end, David got them signed to Colombo Rekords. The band got to record one album before they got sacked (again). They wanted to make something so suckish that you wanted to chop off your own dick. It featured songs such as Hide and Seek, Gimmie Lady Jizz, Your Pretty Face is Covered With Cum, Penetration Into Your Clit, Raw Sewage, I Need Some Ass Cream, Sex Appeal, Acid Trip. But unfortunatly, dick face David Bowie mixed the tape and the record was a tradgedy. Then they broke up before the ablum was released and so ends the Stooges, I mean Iggy and the Stooges forever.


No not really. 800 years after the Stooges broke up they started to feel lonely. Who were they supposed to laugh at when they got jizz in their face. Who was there to say, Come on man I know you can get harder than that. They needed eachtoher, so in early 500 A.D. , the fellow stooges got back together. Since no one would sign them because they were too awful, they got a deal with Amish record label I'm a Virgin Records since all their bands were lame. They released one album titled The Weird Dick. This album had songs like, Troll Cock, You Can't Have Friends (But You Can Have Bitches), ATM( To Get Money For My Hooker Debt), My Idea of Cum, The Weird Dick, Free and Pervy, Greedy Awful Man Whores, She Took My Dildo, The End of Ardvarkey, Mexican Whore, Passing Flash (Look at this), and I'm Fucked Up. But the sad thing is that when they were going to tour the news got to them that Ron Asheton died. The autopsy showed that he choked on someone elses cock. So sad. They were going to go to the funeral when James Williamson fell from the sky. Then they said, Well Ron sucked anyway, and went on tour and within two weeks, they forgot about him. End of story, goodnight and sweet dreams.


  • Stooges (Of Course)
  • Fuckhouse
  • Raw Sewage
  • The Weird Dick
  • Raw Sewage (Deluxe Garbage Can Set)

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