The Wish Fish

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A Wish Fish, here being eaten by a non-photogenic human female.

“I wish I had a Wish Fish which could wish for a fish”

~ The Wish Fish on Wish Fish

“Well! I never!”

~ Mrs. Norma Eddington. See below.

The Wish Fish is simply a fish which you can wish upon. This category of fish includes trout, salmon, flounder, and all other fish, as it is relatively easy to wish upon a fish. Your wish, of course, is rarely granted.

In 1940, the "Wish Fish" fad inspired songwriter Ned Washington to write the following lyrics:

When you wish upon a fish,
You look like a dumb-ass.

These lyrics were later slightly altered for inclusion in an animated Disney musical.

Wish Fish are not members of the bird or mammal families. That is because they are fish.

Wish Fishes as a food[edit]

Yum! However, the plural of "fish" is not "fishes." It is "fish."

Some claim Wish Fish taste somewhat vagina-like. This is juvenile. Based on numerous taste-tests on both ends of this comparison, the two experiences are not even remotely similar, except that either is a delightful way to while away a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Successful fish wishing[edit]

The wish most frequently granted by the Wish Fish is the wish in which the wisher will soon eat a fish.[1] In fact, this wish is granted nearly all the time. One notable exception occurred in 1983, when Mrs. Norma Eddington wished that she would soon eat a fish, only to have a small African-American child jump out of fucking nowhere and run away with her rainbow trout.

  1. It's problematic to assume that the fish which is wished upon would thereby be more willing to be caught.

Successful fishwishing[edit]

A popular way in which to eat a Wish Fish is in a sandwich or in a hamburger bun. This was popularized by McDonald's, which happened to have a lot of hamburger buns lying around. They called their fish Paddies the "Filet McFish," but a sandwich which contains the Wish Fish is properly called a Wish Fishwich.

The Arthur Treacher's chain, by comparison, sold lots of fishwiches, which it wished had a lower cost. So it bought the Mrs. Paul's line of frozen filets, each of which soon served as Wish Fish upon which to wish that the customers would come back and the creditors would go away.