The best thing ever

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“It's obviously me

~ Captain Selfish on what the best thing ever is

The best thing ever is a title given to any object or situation which manages to not suck or be boring in any notable way. In early years the title was given freely, but after a Kelly Clarkson CD (although the CD was later scientifically proven to actually be the best thing ever) was called the best thing ever at 12:45pm, 23 July, 2006 by a Mrs.Westbynone, the freedom was restricted with an unenforcable law, which is the best thing ever.

Some best things ever[edit]

  • Me
  • Ali and his gang (Specifically them Vs. Mr. Tooth Decay)
  • Drugs
    The best thing ever
  • Chainmail (Hailed then as "Thee beft thynge evyrrhe")
  • Canadians**
  • Hysterectomies
  • Spoken language
  • When that one guy did that thing with the other thing
  • Sliced bread
  • Welsh Rarebit
  • Justin Timberlake
  • Loopholes
  • cheese
  • bacon
  • The Karate Kid (Also known as the best around)
  • Football (American and otherwise)
  • Your Mum (Especially last night)
  • The Beatles
  • Whore
  • Lenore
  • Pie (especially peacock pie)
  • Not You
  • Freakin sharks with freakin laser beams attached to their freakin heads
  • That friend of your Dad's you called Uncle

Just kidding aboot canadians though

Some dollars have genital herpes on them, but they're still the best thing ever.

The NEW Best Thing Ever[edit]

On October 31st, 2:13 AM, President George W. Bush (also known as King Dubya II) was held hostage by a group of teenage goth kids until he officially declared that the new best thing ever is now Cannibal Corpse. A group of protesters called the Kids' Irrationally Lumpy Liverspotted Jerks On Yams (KILLJOY) heavily protested until they were killed by being thrown in a room full of goth teenagers and beer.

The unenforcable law[edit]

No things are to be said to be best. Ever.

Controversies surrounding the best thing ever[edit]

In 1987, Bob Dylan denounced the best thing ever title whilst accepting it in a ceremony which had amongst the recipients, Micheal Flatley. He (Bob Dylan) was visibly nervous at the ceremony and spoke crypticly in his speech about his father being a miner and left the stage on a motor cycle which he crashed into Micheal Flatley. It was the best thing ever.

Bob Dylan