The home telephone system

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The Home telephone system was, as you should all be aware, invented as a succesor to the mobile telephone system.

"But why?!" I hear you ask.[edit]

Well, that's a good question. The mobile telephone system was hailed throughout the world as the best way of communicating since bumper stickers. Mary Poppins, the renowned expert in such matters, described it as "Practically perfect in every way". But, unbeknown to most people, and kept secret by the govornments of the world for nearly 5 years, there was a flaw. A flaw which would bring the system to its knees within months if an alternative wasn't found.

The flaw that many men died to expose is that.....MOBILE PHONES ARE REALLY BLOODY ANNOYING

The main reasons for this are...[edit]

  • Ring tones
  • TXT SPIC (text speak)
  • And only hearing one side of a conversation makes eavesdropping really tricky.

And so a quest was started, a group of the bravest inventors in the world formed a fellowship whose aim it was to destroy the ring(tones) that had plagued them for so long. And it worked. 6 months after leaving The Shire they returned victorious. For they had eradicated the need for ringtones for all time.

The personal telephone allowed people to be contacted only while they were safely inside their own homes away from other people on trains or buses who previously would have been forced to listen to mind numbingly boring conversations about 'graham from the office' or 'the price of cheese these days'

It is now ranked along with vinyl, the tin opener, and the mop as one of the greatest inventions of all time. Better even, than wool.

See Also[edit]