Theme songs

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Theme songs (themiumus songhus maximus) are small parasitic creatures that feeds off of true glory and awesomeness. This organism will immediately target and latch onto the closest being with the most "will to survive". The noise is formed by the buzzing of its antennae like receptors of sheer magnificence. The theme song unfortunately has recently been added to the top ten endangered species list. This is because of another organism that thrives on puns and small jokes that soon are forgotten this being is the laugh track or Claudius trackius. The laugh track will kill the theme song for it needs to use the shell to block its ears from absorbing too much raw humor. Fortunately recently W.A.N.K.E.R. (Now known more commonly as the U.S. Senate) has methodically assassinated the writer's that utilize the Laugh track. If you or any other loved one witnesses an uncontrolled use of the laugh track please contact your local congressman who will direct you to the H.P.A. (Horrible Programming Agency) where you can watch decent shows that have been secretly withheld from the general public including, Commercial Free Movies, The CORPS, and HippaloWHAT?! For those of you who yearn for the good ol' days you can purchase a theme song farm to accompany you wherever you go. (Supreme Awesome food supplement not included.)


Birth of the Theme Song[edit]

The theme song was not discovered until the late 1st century B.C. when a short manned named Orville Ug heard a diddy that immediately charged him up and became stuck in his head. Unfortunately Orville was driven insane after severe delusions of grandeur and was killed after trying to box a woolly mammoth. The theme song was not witnessed again until the 1st century A.D. when Moses went all bad ass on the Pharaoh. It was at his famous slaughter at the red sea that it finally became a permanent part of awesomeness.

The Theme Song In Today's Culture[edit]

The theme song was used up until the 1600's when Columbus killed it and had it banned from being used in public places after wasting a diddy when he got lost while trying to find India. It was not until the birth of the motion picture was the theme song allowed to resurface from the Whistling Annoying Nuisances of the Knightly Era Reformist Group or W.A.N.K.E.R Group for short. These song were poorly used in the filming of mime-like comedies and things that one should assume are supposed to be dramas. Fortunately the theme song regained traction after the filming of Rocky. This brought back the charged up feeling that so many influential entities had felt before including, William Shakespeare (a.k.a. T'Old Shakey), Orville Wright, Orville Redenbacher, and Winston Wentright III. The theme song then went on to be used in every major motion picture and TV show until the present.

Movies That Have Properly Utilized the Theme Song[edit]

Such movies include:

grace is the gayest person ever.