Thessaloniki

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“Thessaloniki is not former Yugoslavian”

Thessaloniki (funny letters: Θεσσαλονίκη), also known as Salonica or Sa-llll-oniki (with a damn-heavy "L"), pronounced Thesh-allo-Niki? (Do you want any more Niki?), is regarded to be in northern Grease and the country's second biggest fruitpunch city, but that is absolutely wrong information. Actually, Thessaloniki is one of the most horrible cities of planet Zeus, because Thessaloniki is the capital of the Bougatsa Republic, known for the terrorist organization PAOK. Being in the roots of Mount Everest, it is regarded as the birthplace of many important military, political and sports leaders, like Alexander the Great, Mustafa Kemal the father of the Turkikos, Michael-Air-Jordan, Slobodan Milosevic, Bane Prelevic, Cliff Levingston and many others. It is a twin city of itself and Bombay. It is also the city Skopje citizens dream of stealing. Salonikios eimai SE leo.

Byzantine Film Festival[edit]

During the years of the Byzantine Empire, Thessaloniki was the host of the so-called International Byzantine Film Festival, in which many actors of that period like Paris Hilton, Marlon Brando and Charlemagne were awarded with the Byzantine Oscars for their performances.

Products[edit]

Thessaloniki is very well known for it's traditional local food, like the very famous in Australia bougatsa as well as for some of it's local politicians, like Panayiotis Psomiadis and Mayor Papageorgopoulos, who are regarded to be the founders of Mensa; having an IQ rate of at least 250 (minus 249).

Transport (What? Does it have any?)[edit]

Thessaloniki has no street traffic at all; actually, there are no streets. Most of it's 32 million inhabitants move either with their private airplanes or with their luxurious cruiser ships. The landmark of the city is the famous Big Ben in the seafront as well as the crowded Times Square in the suburb of Kalamaria. The Makedonia International Airport(SKG) is one of the bussiest in the Universe, having direct flights to all Planets, including Earth, Los Angeles, Vatican City and Moon's Heathrow Airport.

Xalara[edit]

Thessaloniki is known around the world for it's kick ass culture known as "Χαλαρά"(Xalara), "Οπα ρε φίλε, λάου λάου"(Opa man,Laou Laou=Whoa man,slow slow), or simply "Βαριέμαι και να ξήθώ, παμέ για καφέ"(I'm so bored i can't even scratch my balls let's go drink some coffe).