This Page Does Exist
“Whoa. Does this...mean..the matrix is real too?”
“This page, does in fact, exist.”
“We don't have this page, like in your country. I don't know who told you that.”
According to the structures and theorems of logic, this page does exist.
|We define existence to be the state of living||Definition of existence|
|All webpages take time to make, and money (internet access)||Postulated|
|The biological functions of life are to eat and reproduce||Meaning of Life postulate|
|Food requires money||No Free Lunch theorem|
|Reproduction takes time||"I'm finally pregnant" theorem|
|Given food = money and sex = time, we substitute:||Substitution property of mathematics|
|Since webpage = time + money, and (shown above) so does living...||Substitution property of mathematics|
|We defined existence to equal living, therefore||Transitive property of mathematics|
|This is a webpage||Definition of webpage|
|Thus...||Transitive property of mathematics|
This proof brought to you by the Fuzzy Math Foundation of America.
Corollaries to the existence theorem
The mathematical equations above have profound meaning.
It may be wise to keep this in mind before vandalizing this page, because, in order to balance the equation, we will have to vandalize your face.
Impact on humanity
The impact of this page's mathematical existence is profound. For instance, as long as this page exists, due to corollary #2 of the existence theorem, so do you. Ordinarily, this is reason enough to destroy this page as soon as possible, but, unfortunately, due to the inevitable paradoxical state in which this page, mathematically proven to exist, would no longer exist, the Universe would a splode. Thus, we are forced to deal with you.