Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends/Episodes
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NOTE: THE EPISODES IN BLACK OR RED WERE LEFT ON TV, THE ONES IN BLUE WERE BANNED ON SIGHT AND THE ONES WITH PARTIALLY BLUE TITLES WERE SHOWN ON TV, ALBEIT HEAVILY CENSORED.
- Edward Helps Out: its a long day. edward has to do everyones work while the engines skip work to go to the disco.
- Thomas's Train:Thomas takes a train.
- Stevie's Predicament: Stevie promises to take Ernest's kids back home while nazi pirates were trying to derail him and kill everyone!!!
- Peter Sam Goes to Svalbard: Peter Sam takes a vacation.
- Off the Sheds: The obesse controller is sad, somebody stole his candy and he commits suicide by jumping off the sheds!
- The Shed Massacre: the railway inspector is not pleased with the engines, and tries to kill them!!!
- Golden Thomas: everybody finds out Thomas new paint gold.
- Bertie's Chase: Bertie got a new machine gun mounted on his roof,and he wants to show Ernest...
- Saved from Scrap: Ernest saves a truck from scrap.
- Thomas's Blingin' New Trucks!: Thomas gets new trucks.
- Thomas and the Conductor: Thomas leaves his Conductor behind because somebody left crack at the next station.
- The Flying Kipper: Henry crashes a fish train.
- Toad Cuts the Cheese: Toad the brakevan farts, causing confusion, and delay!!!
- The Trial: a lawsuit.
- Oliver and the Repair Yard: Oliver is sick,so he goes to a repair yard.Little does he know it's a scrapyard...But he's Saved!!!
- Oops I Crapped My Pants: Emily feeds Thomas ExLax-laced coal after she finds him cheating on her with Daisy. The rest is obvious.
- Mikey the Swearing Engine: A new engine named Mikey comes to the island, and he swears!!!
- Ernest's Noseless Day: Ernest has No Nose!!!
- Oliver Comes to Tea: Oliver wrecks into the Obese Controller's Reich house at teatime!!!
- Rheneas Knows Good: Rheneas does good things.
- Scarface the Made Engine: An engine comes to the Isle of Sod, but leaves.
- Oliver's Murderous Snowman: A nazi snowman follows Oliver aroundlittle does Oliver know that the snowman is a baloon tred around his buffers!
- Diesel's Guide to Dating (Part 1): Obvious.
- Diesel's Guide to Dating (Part 2): Equally obvious.
- The Railway Inspector: The railway inspector comes.
- James and the Young Ones: James hangs at Never Never Land
- Stepney Comes Out of the Closet: Obvious.
- Thomas and the Pub: Thomas goes to a bar.
The Obease Controler's brother: The Obease Controler's brother, Afroman, visits the island and introduces all the engines to marijuana. Then they all get high and drive off the docks into the water.
- Stepney Goes Back Inside the Closet: Obvious
- The Way Thomas Was Blue...: How thomas got Blue
- Rheneas Falls Off a Bridge and Dies: Obvious.
- Just kidding, Rheneas is OK.: Rheneas goes to the Hospital.
- If Whishes Were Trees: Somthing bad Happens.
- Diasy the Stereotypical Diesel: Daisy is Stereotypical
- Rusty and the Bomber: Rusty comes across a terrorist
- Why Thomas Laughs At Your Mistakes: Why oh why does he Laugh?
- Despite for the Diesels: The engines despite the diesels from the Other Railway.
- A Visit From Hitler: The engines find out the Obesse controller is Hitler's Cousin.
- Thomas Runs Over the Obese Controller (2-part Season finale): He tries to, But he never Dies !!!
- Diasy and the Blue Chicken: Daisy finds a Zombie Chicken that can turn its head 360 degrees!!! Oh Noes!!!
- Oliver gets the Bird: Oliver's Fireman mistakes Oliver's Whistle for a bird call. Then, the birds come...
- Thomas the Youtube Engine: nothing but pure funny.
- Edward the Great: Obvious
- Stevie takes Plunge: Stevie falls into the Sea!!!
- Chickens to School: Thomas gets a mix-up.
- AAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA!: translation - Thomas joins Uncyclopedia
- Tuneful Toots: Rusty eats beans
- The Haunted Scrapyard:Stevie warns Ernest about a scrapyard.Ernest doesn't listen. What will happen!?
- The Obesse Controller's Big Secret: Fatty has a big secret.
- Thomas and the TV Producer: OH NOES!!!
- Henry Hides the Lard: Henry protects the lard farm from the Obese Controller.
- Peter Sam and Rusty: Luckily, Rusty's gender change kept PBS from deleting this episode...
- Thomas Meets Freddie Bob: Obvious.
- Freddie Bob Finds True Love: Also obvious.
- Thomas and Emily Go To Couples Therapy: After using some of the tips in "Diesel's Guide To Dating," Emily breaks up with Thomas. For the rest of the episode, look at the title.
- Duncan and the Propaganda: Duncan attempts to stop the Diesels from running his line.
- Hell and Back: Mikey the Swearing Engine takes a Special train to Hell and Back
- Busy going Backwards: Toad the Brakevan Sees some amazing things going backwards...
- Oliver's Find: Oliver finds a Very Special Place.
- Supply and Demand: The Obesse Controller Demands Food, and the engines supply it.A great way to show how an industry Works!
- Fattys Search: The Obesse Controller Searches for who ate the last Sausage, so he can Kill Him!
- World War 3: The Obesse Controller's Death Squads Search the engine's sheds for food to give to fatty.
- Army Recuit: The gang needs more money, So they Join the Army, and Take down the Obesse Man.
- Railway Inspector - THE RECKONING!!!: While fatty got Shot in the last episode so far, he's at the hospital and the Railway Inspector Runs the Railway. Double Oh Noes!!
- Ernest and the Magic Branchline(2 part Season finale): Ernest and The Gang find A magic, Secret Branchline.
- Thomas and Tony Blair: Tony Blair decides to retire to the Isle as the newest engine! YAY!
- The Green Controller: Green engine Percy takes over the railway...
- Sir Handel and The Burger King: Sir Handel is appointed by the king.
- James the Red Engine: We discover why James is Red.
- Woodstick: Woodstick is Comming to Trevor's Orchird, and the engines must get the Hippies!!!
- Henry's 'Other' Sneeze: Satan Throws Fireballs at Henry, But Henry Sneezes his Hippie Smoke out, Killing Satan!!
- Respect for Gordon: Nobody cares about Gordon's love-life.
- Buffer Bother: The Obese Controller puts weapons of mass destruction on the buffers in the quarry. But Bill and Ben don't know...
- The Exorcism of Rheneas: Skarloey hires an exorcist to cure his brother.
- Edward Goes Emo: Obvious...
- Calling All Engines! (2-part Season finale): The Obese Controller summons his engines to build an airport. That way, his very important cargo can be transported by air. But everything goes WRONG!
- Thomas to the Rescue: Thomas rescues the captives of Michael Brandon.
- Diesel and the Racists: The diesel minority rebel against the Isle's racists.
- Harvey and the Ikea Route: Harvey buys an oddly named piece of furniture.
- Salty's Lighthouse: Salty does things to the tugboats. TRIPLE OH NOES!!!!!
- Boo Boo Choo Choo: Thomas, James and Percy take a train across the haunted branch line.
- Civil War: Skarloey convinces the little engines to separate from the Obese Controller's line.
- The Narrow Gauge Railway: All does not go well in the new government formed by Rusty, Peter Sam, Rheneas and the others...
- The Runaway Elephant: Duncan unleashes an elephant on the Obese Controller's section of the Isle.
- Gordon Goes Foreign: The Prime Minister goes to the Narrow Gauge Line to meet with Skarloey's board.
- The Thin Controller: The little engines clone the Obese Controller and slim him into the Emaciated Controller.
- Mighty Mac: The Emaciated Controller buys Mighty Mac, a pair of Siamese twins!!
- Thomas's Day Off: Thomas heads to a "special place" on his day off, but is delayed by Dennis the lethargic engine.
- The Concert: Emily becomes a Black Eyed Peas fan.
- Blue Moon: The Emaciated controller finds a Mc Donalds,And goes back to the Obese Controller
- Too Hot for Thomas: Fatty makes a Global Warming machine...
- You Can Do It Toby: Toby found a girlfriend, and needs help.
- James Goes Too Far: James tells racist jokes.
- Peace & Quiet: Stepney hunts for a good place to be 'alone'...
- Fish: Rick and Marty take a fish train up a hill...
- Thomas & The Circus: Evil Clowns escape from the Circus
- Thomas Gets it Right: FINALLY!!!
- Don't Tell Thomas: Emily finds a new boyfriend,but What will Thomas Say!?
- Duncan's Bluff: Duncan lies to Thomas that he is now dating Emily.
- 100th Episode: YAY!!! The engines throw a beer party
- Thomas and the Tube: Thomas sues Youtube for illegally uploading episodes from Seasons 1-7. (Subsequently uploaded to Youtube)
- Three Cheers for Thomas: The case was won!
- Thomas and the Rainbow: Don't ask!!
- Pwn3d!: Thomas gets pwn3d.
- Toby Feels Left Out: It's love season and Toby's girlfriend just dumped him.
- Fatty's New Grue: The Obese Controller buys a pet Grue!
- Thomas and the Toy Shop: thomas and Jacko set up a trap for the children.
- Rheneas and the Dinosaur: The fued continues when Rheneas reanimates a dinosaur to attack Thomas' line..
- A Smooth Ride: Rusty is caught with Sir Handel - cheating on Peter Sam!!!
- Special Funnel: Peter Sam brags about his funnel being the biggest.
- Emily Knows Best: Emily decides to go back to Thomas, proving she doesn't know best.
- New Employee: The Obesse Controller Hires Fidel To be the Vice Racist.
- Bumper Sticker: The engines get Bumper Stickers.
- Atlantis: Mikey the Swearing Engine Sinks, finding atlantis, but soon floats up.
- Scarface-the world is His: Scarface the Made Engine is Back!!!
- A Very Merry Christmas: Stevie is Jewish, and Doesn't know about Santa,so When Santa's on the Roof,he gets a gun...
- A Very Unmerry Christmas: Stevie Thinks he Killed Santa, but he didn't.
- Thomas and Gail: Thomas meets Gail the guard's compartment.
- Percy and the Carnival: Percy sets up a trap for the children.
- The Case of the Singing Bushes: Singing Bushes take over the Isle.
- Mighty Mac and the Ninjas: The Siamese twins must stop the ninjas.
- Which Gender Now?: Rusty is caught in a decision.
- Thomas and the Shooting Star: Britney Spears tries shooting the engines!
- Neville the Black Engine: Thomas spreads a rumour that Neville is Black.
- Thomas' Frosty Friend: Thomas leaves Percy in the snow and he gets frostbite.
- Edward Strikes Out: Edward takes up baseball, but stinks.
- Thomas and the Birthday Mail: Thomas has a special gift for a young child...
- Thomas and Skarloey's Big Day Out: Obvious.
- McDonald's: Ronald McDonald attempts to take control of the line, so the Obese Controller challenges him to an eating contest. Guess who wins.
- Songs: Thomas and Emily are trying to get into It Takes Two, by singing "Cuntry Roads"...
- Toby, James and the Ideas: Toby thinks James is a Racist by saying He Hates trucks,but Stevie thought he said he Hated Black People.
- Search Engine: Thomas Overhears Buisness People, and He Starts a new Search Engine "Engine-Google".
- Gun Gallore: Gordon Starts collecting guns.
- A Close Shave: Duck has to think of an excuse for his razor cut.
- Pimp My Engine: Thomas, James and Percy go for a repaint.
- Duncan's Evil Plot: Sir Handel teams up with Duncan, who plans to separate Mighty and Mac.
- Diesel Does It Again: Obvious.
- Pirate's Life For Salty: Salty unfortunately stayed too late at the nearby pub.
- Refreshing Steam: Thomas secretly had his water tank filled with beer the night before.
- Refreshing Steam Part 2: The engines steal Thomas' idea, and the Island starts falling apart!
- The Thomas Crown Affair: The first episode with Pierce Brosnan as narrator.
- Toad Stands By: Toad Stands By When Oliver is thrown into Iraq.
- Escape: Oliver and Toad Escape from fattys scrapyard because fatty wanted to turn them into a nice Grill.
- Sodor War 1: The narrow gauge engines start a war with the Obesse Controller.
- Thomas and Gordon: Thomas gives somthing to Gordon...
- Come Out Henry!!!: Henry won't come out of the tunnel because Sir Adolf Hitler will Eat Him.
- Oliver Owns up: Oliver gets pushed into the Turntable because he didn't pay off his loan.
- Duck's Interview: Duck gets interviewed why he was robbed of his contract with HIT!
- Politics: The leader of Green Party (along with 500 other hippeis) campaigns for the railway to be electrified, as Steam Power is "Uneconomical and evironmentally dangerous", shortly before he was struck on the head by a rail enthusiast with a tripod.
- Commercial Breakdown: After the Green Party fiasco is sorted, the Fat Controller advertises the railway as a great film location, within days of the first film crew arriving, two cameramen are struck by a train and 37 chavs have been given ASBOs after trespassing and swearing at the cameras.
- Christmas Special?: A HST is to come to the railway for christmas, the railway's drivers intend to run the train round the railway as fast as possible and leave every station on full power with the sole intent of creating as much smoke and noise as possible.
- The Christmas Special: See above - leader of Greenpeace commits suicide.
- The Public Enquiry: Gordon crashes the Express, because a drunk signalman, set the points for a siding, instead of the mainline. The HSE close that section of the line for 3 months to find out what happened, while complete chaos reigns.
- Chavs: An overnight Chav attack leaves 12 coaches covered in graffiti, the Fat Controller wakes up from a marijuana induced coma and blames Thomas.
- Porterbrook: Porterbrook (rail leasing company) sell Virgin Trains' and one's old engines and coaches and the fat controller buys them as spare coaches, rescue engines and replacement coaches (see above), only for the chavs to return and cause more damage. The Fat Controller camps out in his private engine and places a sign on it reading "Wet Paint - do not touch", when the Chavs arrive, Fatty powers up and runs them all over.
- The Elephant affair: Thomas and Percy are asked to by the Fat Controller to bring an elephant from the mainland to Sodor Zoo, when they stop at a red signal, the elephant makes a break for freeedom and runs off, destroying all the track he crosses.
- GB Railfreight: A well known railfreight business, operated by the First Group tries to bring coal across to the island, after the power station was forced to tender the coal and transport contracts, much to the disappointment and anger of the Fat Controller.
- Sulzer versus Steam: A Class 47 locomotive bought from Porterbrook is used on the line after the Fat Controller realizes they are almost as popular as steam trains and he holds a diesel gala to attract as many rail enthusiasts and rip as many kids off in the shop as possible.
- Going Underground: After a trip to Glasgow, the fat controller realizes that he wants his own underground system, complete with narrow platforms that smell of pish.
- Superyoungteamgoesballisticsecuricorareatrocious: The Young Knapford Boys trespass on the line placing bricks on it. The Fat Controller ends the contract with Securicor, which only makes it easier for the gang to get in and empty the buffet coaches.
- Running the risk: The Fat Controller has a lot to answer for when some ignorant person jumps the lights at the level crossing and is struck by Donald, who was heard screaming seconds before he hit the car, "Get tae buggery!"
- Buckfast revisited: The Fat Controller ambushes the chavs, hitting them over the head with their own (discarded) Buckfast bottles.
- Morrisons - Part One: Morrisons open a new store in Knapford and plans to use trains to bring the stock to Knapford. The Fat Controller allows them to use trains to bring stock to the island, as long as they use his engines on the island. They agree, but after a few months, they've been late on their payment one month too many, he takes control of a Morrisons train and shunts it off the line, into the wall of the superstore, revealing the Morrisons branded syringes that the Fat Controller hid in the containers.
- Morrisons - Part Two: The Fat Controller is charged by the Police for operating a train hauling "drug paraphernalia"; a fueling hose "accidentally" sprays diesel all over the Police station.
- Aerosol: A driver of a steam train complains about his "smelly" fireman, he sprays deodorant around the engine and the fireman, who catches fire when he lights the fire in the engine, which, unsurprisingly, burns like hell.
- Greenpeace: Greenpeace chain themselves to a train in a protest about climate change, unfortunately, they were on the wrong side of the train and were dragged under.
- Hammer: A dodgy engineering firm is offered the job of working on all of the railway's trains, only to be sacked when it's found out that they only use Super glue and a hammer.
- Jihad my Ride: A train derails in a landslide, by pure coincidence, the crew of Jihad my Ride are onboard.
- Kidnapped!: The flame Ninjas capture the Obese Controller and his wife and hang them upside down in the guard's compartment on Gordon's express. The flame Ninjas jeer at them, but get too close and are dragged underneath.
- In the guard's compartment: The Obese Controller uses his steak knife to free them, knocking them to the floor. It ends when we see Lady Controller holding a bag of ice on the Obese Controller's head with her telling him what a fuckwit he is.
- When you've got to go: Lady Controller divorces from The Obese Controller but gets thrown off the viaduct.
- The Obese Controller gets it right: It is a regular day. The whole of Sudan is starving and his wife is dead, but he doesn't give a damn! What a fucking, mental, autistic, jewish jerk!
- Thomas and the dead horse: Obviously
- Skarloey hates red sauce on pasta: Obvious as well
- Thomas' new gun: Thomas has a new machine gun and heads to the Obese Controller... Triple OH NOES!
- All you can eat: The engines build an all you can eat buffet for the Obese Controller.
- The Sod war (part 1): The Obese Controller is sued for using engines he doesn't own. He is forced to give Edward, James, Toby and Duck to Railco.inc in exchange for four drunk HOs. The Obese Controller denies this and starts a war.
- The Sod war (part 2): The Obese Controller is as mad as a bull with a flag waved at it. He is forced to give Daisy to them as well.
- The Sod war/AKA The railway massacre (part 3): The first battle is to begin and the 60 members of Railco.inc are assembled on the tracks, but Fatty powers up Thomas and uses him to run them all down, meaning the war is won and Toby is given back. Thomas finds out that The Obese Controller turned Stevie, Oliver and Stepney into 3 chocolate fudge sundaes. With anger Thomas runs over the Obese Controller, killing him, shortly after wiping out the 3 remaining drunk HOs.
Projected for 2016 this is a list of the new series. Note: Currently in discussion so don't expect all to be true.
- Hitler comes to Sodor part 1: Hitler arrives at Sodor, but hates it and gets nazi paratroopers to come and rip it apart...
- Hitler comes to Sodor part 2: The engines have to fight against Adolf.
- Hitler comes to Sodor part 3: The engines kill the Nazis to turn out to be Hyper Nazis. Stealing sugar the Diesel minority turn hyper...
- Hitler comes to Sodor part 4: The Diesel chase the steamies round the Island, result - chaos. Dum, dum Du-u-u-u-um!!!!
- Hitler comes to Sodor part 5: Hitler gets shot by the Diesels and they get their sugar back. Henry, James, and, Gordon ger their asses beat up.
- Bob the Builder Comes to Sodor part 1: Bob and his machines come to Sodor and built Fat-ass a Brand-new food storage place. George discovers his long lost twin.
- Bob the Builder comes to Sodor part 2: Bob builds Fat-ass another food storage place with a food machine. We see something strange going on between Dizzy and Percy.
- Bob the Builder comes to Sodor part 3: Bob builds the really, really, really Fat Controller a moving chair to get him from one food storage place to another. Dizzy and Percy get it on while Thomas is watching.
- Bob the Builder leaves Sodor: After Fatso discovers Percy and Dizzy's relationship, Bob gets his ass kicked back to Bobsville and lands in on a funeral. The machines squish Bob at the same place and time. Where's Percy?
Season 16 (With the Episode scripts!)
- Rescource and Sagacity: The Engines have a flashback on Oliver's 2nd day.
- Two and Half Engines: DO NOT WATCH
- Mikey and the Evil tunnel: Obvious.
- Thomas the KingObvious,again...
- Percy, James, and the Fruitful day: Ringo's Revenge...
- Polski Engines: The Obese Controller buys some Polish engines ('cos they're cheap) and they take over Mikey's branch line.
- Stepney gets Lost (again): Stepney eats too much cheese and dreams about a pyscho arcade claw on the loose...
- Terminators in Sodor : the Obese Controller survives the kings attack but theres the threat of Skynet after John and Sarah connor along with Cameron crossover to the sodor universe.The wormhole connecting the sodor and Terminator universes was created when the Obese controller Ate into the Fabric of space and time itself he done this because he was told that the fabric of space and time tasted like chicken.
- The attack of thin The anorexic controller attempts to conquer sodor and kill the fat controller.
- The king goes to SODor : King Harkinian comes to SODor and gets pissed off by the obese controller prank calling him saying "confusion and delay" so the king uses Harold to Nuke him causing "Confusion and Delay" across SODor then barney arrives in the Harold and crashes the plane presumably killing the king,Harold and himself.
The full episode