Thrash metal (abbreviated as trash metal), Thrash Metal comes from the ancient greeks, it was hailed as the music of the gods but one mortal had the chance to hear and repeat it back to the other mortals that mortal was DAVE MUSTAINE . The first band ever to play Thrash was Garbage on the Modern life is rubbish album. The frontman and drummer of Garbage, Wyclef Junk, later formed another important band - WasteWasteWaste, That later renamed itself to Microliphe.
The basic goal of every Thrash band is to make all the songs in every album sound like one long song, all the albums in their career to sound like one long piece of shit coming out of an asshole, and all the pieces of shit sound like one loud farting sound that will create a second Big Bang that will destroy the universe. FUCKING HELL YEAH!!!
Thrash metal is divided to several sub-genres, including White Thrash (not to confuse with Death metal), Nuclear Thrash (not to confuse with Nu metal) and Radio-active Thrash, that includes only one song: The Metallica track "Nothing else that airs".
Thrash Metal was originally created as a type of stimulation for brain dead people to see if their brain waves would restart. As a result, the government realized that there were thousands of retards across the country. Most of which wear gigantic, black pants with chains.
Eras in Thrash Metal
The second era never happened.
The third era came about with the realisation of Thermonuclear Head Room Activating Stimulus Hard (rock), or THRASH, was music, and so became fused with the element of cocaine to create thrash metal. Would have been amazing if some retard hadn't spelt the word "third" in the title of the era "thrid". It was shit because of this.
The fourth era came about when Metallica did. End of story.
The fifth era happened because Metallica became the Metallicats and started doing covers of other people's songs in smooth jazz clubs (they released a fucking album, dude!). Dave "I'm Shit" Mustaine took the opportunity to create Metallica Attempt 2, but failed after Metallica returned to metal after their "Chillin' To The Cool Groove '23" tour ended and they regained their old name. Metallica Attempt 2 still exist today, under the name Meggerdeath or some shit like that.
The sixth era was just the fallout of the third and fifth eras.
The seventh era was led solely by Michael Angelo Batio, like every other genre of music between 1978 A.D. and 2142 B.C., because he can play so many guitars at once he owned every guitar in the world, so no others could play. He then left his own band in 1999 to go on a twenty-seven-year long sex spree, birthing the eighth era.
The eighth era is considered the heaviest, most blasphemous and most mindblowing eras of all. Three bands leading this wave of unbelievably heavy music were Busted, McFly and ultra=blackened-deathrash metal band/orchestra Girls Aloud. Charlie Simpson was the creator of this era by inventing the Busted jump, but was also the destroyer because he joined a crew of space warriors, Fightstar, who went around solving mysteries and getting called meddling kids. Because he left, so did his eyebrows, two of the biggest and most thriving festival fields in the universe, therefore putting everyone out of business.
Damn that meddling Charlie.
The ninth era happened about ten minutes ago and ended literally fourty-seven seconds ago when you went onto this computer you're on to watch that illegal kitten shit porn you're about to watch. You filthy bastard.
List Of Thrash Bands
- I Think Satan Likes Your Mom
- NSYNC (in the 1930's era before becoming a homosexually driven polka band)
- Wyld Stallyons
- Killing People Can Be Fun
- Pet Shop Boys
- Municipal Waste
- The Wombals