Time warp

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A Time Warp is a plot device employed by struggling, desperate and/or starving (read: all) science fiction writers. A time warp allows the writer quickly extricate himself from a gaping plothole, to break the tedium of having used the same generic two-room spaceship set for 12 seasons, or to insult the audience's intelligence with a slew of embarrassing anachronisms. The use of a time warp to escape from a plothole is risky, however, as a time warp itself is likely to introduce, on average, 10-15 new plotholes of its own. If the writer is careless (and most are), this may lead to resonance cascade plot failure.

Inducing a Time Warp[edit]

Time warps will spontaneously form when two science fiction series writers collide under a Lorentz contracted deadline, or when a single science fiction writer decays into a broken man and a steaming turd. Alternatively, a time warp can be induced by crossing the International Dateline at 12:00 a.m. on January 1st, which will, depending on the direction of travel, transport the traveler backwards or forwards in time by one year. (Airlines have to plan their flights carefully around this time to avoid an accidental time warp and its associated liabilities).

Prawn Roast[edit]

The main problem of the Time Warp is the quantum blingularity contradiction. In search of the money many writers will attempt a dimensional crossover where random people will experience a warp back to a previous script. In changing a previous script there will be implications on the present day, otherwise known as 'The Next Episode'.

The classic example of the Time Warp is the Klingon Worf posing as Eva Braun. Using the "deterministic universe" example, this episode of Star Trek portrayed Hitler as an unwilling bystander to the Klingon lust for racial dominence. Worf dominated Hitler's wishes for a peaceful non-expansionist empire, encouraging World War II in a secret effort to eliminate the Foundation before its inception. But due to the Continuity paradox, writers were forced to acknowledge the existence of the Foundation and thus Worf found he was only a part of the already existing history of humanity.

Warp Factor[edit]

Warp 0 is how fast You run

Tribble Lip[edit]

The greatest misapprehension of 21st century humanity was that it's pre-eminence with science was an absolute rather than a relative constuct. The discovery by the Silute Banjo Collectiv that reality was in fact entirely based on articles published in Silute Times led to multiple Time Warps criss-crossing the fabric of Earth history. The uprising of Lithuania as a world, and eventual Galactic, superpower, was a direct consequence of the actions of the Silute Banjo Collectiv.

Meaning of Life[edit]

The time warp is also just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right. Followed by the placement of the hands on your hips. But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane.

Let's do it again.

The time warp is also just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right. Followed by the placement of the hands on your hips. But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane.

Let's do it again.

The time warp is also just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right. Followed by the placement of the hands on your hips. But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane.

And we all fall down.

See Also[edit]