Tiresias

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Because of their so-called intelligence, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will never have a proper article about Tiresias. We are sorry for their blatant retardedness.

In Greek mythology, Tiresias (also transliterated as Teiresias, Tyresauris and Arthur “Two Sheds” Jackson) was a blind robot prophet, the son of the shepherd Everett-Coop and the nympho “Cootchie Cootchie” Charo.

He is a mythic figure known for his super-ability to tell the future, but is hated for his tragic dyslexia that makes it impossible for him to give the actual numbers that will come up in the lottery.

In one story (Tiresias Annual #4, Marvel Comics) he is transformed into a woman and, after seven years with a Hello Kitty Vibrator, was transformed back. When asked by Zeus and Hera which sex experienced more pleasure during intercourse he replied, “Neither, for we are Greek and the anus is neither male or female.”

Lately he has been cast as a sidekick to Oedipus in the film Oedipus at Miami Beach.