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A tonn is a measurement of weight used by canadians who can't decide between the british tonne and the american ton. It is defined as being the weight of 1337 liters (or litres) of maple syrup under Canada gravity. This is equivalent to approximately 966.1 kilograms, or 2125.4 pounds.


The tonn was invented in 1763 with the founding of Canada. In 1867 it was changed to its present definition (it was previously a measurement of beaver fur). Anne Murray attempted to copyright the term in 1903, but failed after Mr. Dressup had it declared unconstitutional. Presently, there is a dispute going on as to the real nature of the tonn; see the next section.

The dispute[edit]

In 1984, a dispute arose over whether the tonn is a measure of weight or mass, and has continued to this day. Weight-proponents claim that since maple syrup contains so many carbohydrates and trans-fatty acids, which cause rapid weight gain when eaten, that the tonn must be a measure of weight. On the other hand, mass-proponents argue that the high sugar content of maple syrup allows a fast metabolism for building muscle, and hold that this indicates it being a measure of mass.

We at Uncyclopedia would like to clear up this matter once and for all. In fact, the tonn is a measure of mass, which can be converted to weight using the equation:

Where M is mass, W is weight, G is gravity, E is exercise and S is steroids.