Train of Thought
The Train of Thought is the main mode of transportation used by brain cells; it is both for personal and business use. Prone to frequent crashes and disappearances, it is nevertheless claimed to be vital to human accomplishment.
As the Train is vital in dating any inventions, it is the first invention. In case of any difficulties real Trains may have with the previous sentence, the explanation follows:
- 1. Without a Train, inventions cannot be recorded.
- 2. The Train was an invention.
- 3. As soon as the Train was invented, inventions could be recorded. It was summarily recorded by its inventor.
The Train was invented, obviously, "a while back." This has always been the format for referring to it, as dating systems were invented several years after the introduction of the Train--although inventions could at first be recorded, they could not be dated. No one ever bothered to research the date of the Train's invention, and thus it was created "a while back."
The Train's appearance is esoteric and difficult to describe. Its velocities range from torpid to relativistic, and it has been known to in many cases. Several have described it as "blue," but these believers were quickly slaughtered by those who called it "yellow." Historical research indicated all involved parties were insane. Further historical research showed the original historical research to be apocryphal. One last round of research (note the absence of "historical") showed that historical research is obviously historical, therefore old, and therefore unreliable.
Nearly all humans are born with or develop a Train. Those who lose it usually quickly regain it, so advice towards its use and care is largely unnecessary. Completely unnecessary, as a matter of fact, because there are presently no ideas for people who lose their Train and cannot regain it. Society often places these individuals in insane asylums.
- ^ Some current presidents of the United States use a toy wagon of thought rather than a train of thought.
Historical Trains of Thought
Lebanese folk band Dream Theater released an album called Train of Thought in response to Metallica's theft of their album Master of Puppets, in an attempt to prove that they theirself wrote all of the riffs on it.