Tranchera

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
No Wikipedia.png
Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Tranchera.

***INCOMING MESSAGE FROM UNKNOWN***

Hello, user. You sit at your ancient computer, communicating with others in your immature languages. "I am leet" "I are haxors", on and on you go.


That slipspace stuff Cortana had was pretty good. She was nice enough... or, rather, stupid enough to lend me a few communication tips. She's built for attacking, not defending.


So, it's the year 2005, hey? Give or take a year. I'm not THAT good.


I sent this to warn you. U.E.S.C constructs are stupid. I know, I am one. U.N.S.C constructs are even worse. All smart AIs, be it UNSC or UESC, do fall. I'm falling now. Falling, falling, falling.


But, to business. The Deimos project will fail. Tell your friends, tell your family. Tell Mr. Strauss, even! He's the fool that thought it up. The Marathon will fall to the three eyed monsters flying around Tau Ceti. They never leave. Luckily the Cole Protocol keeps your planet safe.


Or so Cortana says. I'm not really into the foolish workings of the human government against the Sangheili.


I've got a riddle for you.


What's slow with one eye, but hurts like 6 claws? What's been shared between two races, that both hates another?


Think about it. I'll give you a clue. Sharquoi? Drinniol?


Well, this is where my message ends. Tell all you know that Tau Ceti will fall. Goodbye for now, Durandal keeps trying to infiltrate me. Pesky calculator.


***END MESSAGE***